Love: Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope...

By MrOh - 09/08/2011 17:29 - Canada

Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 673

You deserved it 4 521

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/08/2012 05:03 - United States - Mountain View

Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 811

You deserved it 2 566

By Dumbfounded - 08/08/2012 23:03 - United States - Padre Island Ntl Seashor

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 381

You deserved it 3 971

By Anonymous - 19/12/2011 20:08 - United States

Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 329

You deserved it 3 483

Affection breakdown

By Anonymous - 19/12/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 143

Stuck on amber

By Anonymous - 01/10/2020 07:58 - United States - Greensburg

Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 274

You deserved it 208

By Anonymous - 29/01/2012 19:10 - United States

Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 423

You deserved it 3 775

By divorced - 19/08/2010 10:01 - United States

Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 768

You deserved it 4 569

Marriage doesn't solve anything

By Anonymous - 12/03/2021 17:00

Today, my wife told me how she really felt about me, and said she didn't love me anymore. We got married last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 254

You deserved it 139

By dazedandconfused - 18/09/2016 09:44 - United Kingdom - Dorking

Today, I found out why my wife has been upset with me for the last week. She told me this morning that I did something to upset her on our date night last Friday, she won't tell me what, and she said she'll leave me if I do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 455

You deserved it 1 102

Told you so

By Anonymous - 19/06/2021 22:00

Today, my wife is leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about, who is also her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 119

bthomas0319 2

Tuesday 9 August 2011 22:23

Make a fake horoscope and make it say that you have to be your husband's slave and do whatever he says

kaylynheartsyou 10

Tuesday 9 August 2011 22:23

Then dont talk to her for one day.

Comments

123jade456 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 23:02

oh that stinks...

whitneyphan1520 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 23:02

God most guys would love that their wife isn't talking to them. Especially about their girl talk about about there mother

spartan522114 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 23:06

**** her sister, tell her a fortune cookie told you to change things up in your love life.

CryMoreFMLs 14

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:01

What if she doesn't have a sister? Go for the mother.

spartan522114 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 3:36

Mother's deceased? Hit up the friends.

Screwie 25

Wednesday 10 August 2011 5:17

No friends? Bang the dog in front of her.

sparklecherry 4

Tuesday 9 August 2011 23:10

You married her. YDI

jdechert2 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 23:17

Most guys would beg for their wives to not speak for one day! Stop complaining!

jigsawbanana 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 23:20

She's a keeper :)

crazyeyes83 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 23:27

and this is a problem why?

ninjaandreaa 9

Tuesday 9 August 2011 23:27

try to make her laugh :)

DatWhiteGuy 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 23:33

Blonde?

RebekahBrooke 9

Tuesday 9 August 2011 23:36

(: he ?

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The Top

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 389

Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 363

The Top

Today, I was asked if I had children who are in high school. I’m 17. This isn't the first time someone has mistaken me for a woman in her twenties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 174

Today, I got sent home from work after a customer's daughter kicked me in the balls because her order was wrong. She was 6 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 117

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 379

Today, I told my ex I was going to bed after a few drinks, and she ended up fucking my brother while I was asleep. What an awakening to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 181

Today, I asked my mom why she decided to be a parent. She replied, in all seriousness, "Everyone else was doing it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 719

You deserved it 3 850

Today, I went on a date after months of rejection and loneliness. Everything was going great until my date argued with me over the correct way to pronounce my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 171

You deserved it 319