Love: Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope... - FML

By MrOh - 09/08/2011 17:29 - Canada

Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 673

You deserved it 4 521

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/08/2012 05:03 - United States - Mountain View

Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 811

You deserved it 2 566

By Dumbfounded - 08/08/2012 23:03 - United States - Padre Island Ntl Seashor

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 381

You deserved it 3 971

By Anonymous - 19/12/2011 20:08 - United States

Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 329

You deserved it 3 483

Affection breakdown

By Anonymous - 19/12/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 143

Stuck on amber

By Anonymous - 01/10/2020 07:58 - United States - Greensburg

Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 274

You deserved it 208

By Anonymous - 29/01/2012 19:10 - United States

Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 423

You deserved it 3 775

By divorced - 19/08/2010 10:01 - United States

Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 768

You deserved it 4 569

Marriage doesn't solve anything

By Anonymous - 12/03/2021 17:00

Today, my wife told me how she really felt about me, and said she didn't love me anymore. We got married last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 254

You deserved it 139

By dazedandconfused - 18/09/2016 09:44 - United Kingdom - Dorking

Today, I found out why my wife has been upset with me for the last week. She told me this morning that I did something to upset her on our date night last Friday, she won't tell me what, and she said she'll leave me if I do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 455

You deserved it 1 102

Told you so

By Anonymous - 19/06/2021 22:00

Today, my wife is leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about, who is also her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 119

Next

Top comments

bthomas0319 2

Tuesday 9 August 2011 22:23

Make a fake horoscope and make it say that you have to be your husband's slave and do whatever he says

kaylynheartsyou 10

Tuesday 9 August 2011 22:23

Then dont talk to her for one day.

Comments

12vballchick12 5

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:16

Its called a blessing in disguise! Haha deal

12vballchick12 5

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:18

Its called a blessing in disguise! Haha deal

goodnyte1209 6

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:21

horoscopes don't lie...

Jojo07_fml 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:31

I would think you'd be happy to have some peace and quality for a day

SluggerJ 7

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:32

It's one day of silents out of 365 be thankful she's dumb. OP

threeminutesfrom 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 1:27

Sounds like a good thing lol

Brits2541_fml 7

Wednesday 10 August 2011 2:18

That is crazy. Next time, change it before she sees it.

satomi_ishida 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 2:38

Ç

perdix 29

Wednesday 10 August 2011 2:52

Wasn't she suspicious that her sign was covered in Wite-Out and her horoscope was in your handwriting? That's one creative way to get a day of peace and quiet.

FMLx1oooooo 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 3:10

Isn't that a good thing? ;)

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here" from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 058

You deserved it 8 155

Today, my husband has been out partying all night. While my in-laws didn't ask him a single question, earlier I received more than six calls from them about when I'll be home to cook and clean. Where was I? In the office for the first time after working from home for past 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 111

The Top

Today, I asked my girlfriend if maybe she wanted to actually leave the house for date night. All I got was, “Why? We have takeaway menus.” When I insisted we leave the house for once, she got suspicious, like I was trying to hide something bad. She’s not talking to me until I admit what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 140

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 605

You deserved it 4 592

Today, I received my 12-month diet plan from an online coach. It said, “Eat less calories lol.” I just lost £175. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 179

You deserved it 1 200

Today, I'm feeling so lonely and miserable that I started adding a few drops of whiskey to my coffee, just to make all those shitty thoughts disappear for a moment. I know that it won't really help and I need therapy, but I can't afford it right now. On the other hand, it seems that I don't really care anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 173

Today, I thought I heard a nasty storm brewing, even though there was no warning that one would occur. I then realized it was one of my cats, stuck behind a chair and trying to escape with little success. Yes, her escape attempts were that noisy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 166

Today, the priest was handing out red roses after church. The woman ahead of me asked for a rose. The priest said, "Sorry, we are only giving them out to single women since they didn't get any for Valentine's Day." Then he hands one to me. This was the first time I have been to that church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 436

You deserved it 4 395