Miscellaneous: Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting...

By notabeliever - 29/07/2011 05:11 - United States

Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 759

You deserved it 7 210

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By crapedup - 10/10/2011 23:11 - United States

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 051

You deserved it 3 077

Cristal mommies

By Anonymous - 12/10/2022 23:00 - United Kingdom - Barking

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for the night so she could calm down. All I did was suggest her headache might improve with paracetamol and a nap, as opposed to the burning sage stinking up our bedroom and the crystal wand she had pressed against her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 391

You deserved it 210

By Ringless - 25/02/2010 21:47 - United States

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 305

You deserved it 3 616

Equality

By Anonymous - 03/12/2020 22:05 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I gave my wife a £55 gin Advent calendar. She gave me a £1 one with chocolates i don't like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 253

Low blow

By Anonymous - 09/01/2015 20:16 - United States

Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 864

You deserved it 3 977

In the zone

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 20:00

Today, my wife was painting in the garage when she unplugged a random plug to charge her stupid, smelly vape without thinking about what it was she was unplugging. It was the large chest freezer. About £500 in meat and the entire bottom tier of our wedding cake defrosted and ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 149

By Anonymous - 30/08/2013 21:05 - United States - Utica

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 685

You deserved it 3 466

By Anonymous - 16/11/2010 02:02 - United States

Today, my wife and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had, which resulted in her leaving, going to her parents' house and calling me twice, screaming and sobbing. The argument was over a seven dollar bottle of wine. Apparently, she was "saving it for a special occasion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 341

You deserved it 5 249

All scammed out

By Anonymous - 14/06/2015 15:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, my wife paid a man with a fake crystal and an even faker accent to investigate the creakiness of our apartment complex floors. $300 later, she told me he'd found a "sinkhole of chi energy" and that the building may collapse if we don't pay him to disperse it. I want a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 723

You deserved it 3 434

Irrational response

By Anonymous - 19/09/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, after a horrible day at work, I called my wife on the drive home and asked if she could start the kettle so I could have a cup of tea when I got home. She shrieked, "I'm not your maid!" and hung up on me, then threw hot water in my face when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 99

EffTrae 0

Friday 29 July 2011 11:44

Tofu cake? magic healing crystals? Homeopathic remedies? Who buys stuff like that

NitroTonicsFML 4

Friday 29 July 2011 11:41

Chocolate teapot? o_o

Comments

badactor009 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:14

crazy gal you got there. mind if I borrow your chocolate teapot?

JonahThompson 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:36

wtf?

Carlie_McCartney 1

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:49

Methinks she's a pyscho vege(n)tarian hippie sort of thing. Comments?

mandyville 8

Saturday 30 July 2011 5:02

that's awesome!

AunteyN 4

Saturday 30 July 2011 7:01

My parents buy that stuff. I feel for you.

Gotrees 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 7:46

um... WHAT?

jlh2283 1

Saturday 30 July 2011 8:05

maybe you should be a good husband and support your wife. you married her it's not like she woke up one day talking about alternative means to medicine. what a dick! my husband supports me no matter what, he might think it's weird but wouldn't be an ass about it...

Levvy 22

Saturday 30 July 2011 19:10

Remember: If you see your spouse about to walk off a cliff, you should support their free choice and belief that they should be walking there.

Java6Nerd 10

Saturday 30 July 2011 18:16

Why the hell would you marry someone like that? Have fun one day when you've been in an accident and she tells the doc to unplug your life support machine and pray instead. Though for the record, chocolate teapots are awesome... chocolate anything is awesome.