Love: Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because...

By Anonymous - 21/09/2011 18:39 - United States

Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 980

You deserved it 4 517

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/07/2014 01:27 - United States - Sandston

Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 768

You deserved it 5 644

By new name - 06/11/2012 22:03 - United States - Storrs Mansfield

Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 348

You deserved it 16 595

By singleagain - 15/05/2012 01:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 033

You deserved it 42 501

By unloved - 18/01/2010 05:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife changed her name back to her maiden name. Why? So people would stop asking questions about us. We have been married for 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 043

You deserved it 2 754

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 22:10 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 831

You deserved it 3 394

By Anonymous - 29/10/2010 03:36 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 168

You deserved it 2 924

Bee in her bonnet

By Anonymous - 12/06/2024 13:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my wife bumped into my ex-girlfriend from before we met. My wife said that she’s glad she's hotter than her, and we laughed. She has now mentioned this every hour since then, and now insists I list the reasons why she’s hotter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 103

By Anonymous - 16/04/2018 19:00

Today, my wife sent me a text expressing her "love and thinking to the future with you, Chad". Too bad my name isn't Chad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 881

You deserved it 266

The patriarchy rules

By hyphen - 09/12/2020 18:01 - United States - Denver

Today, I was talking to a new friend when I told him my last name. It’s hyphenated. He then left and declared me to be a "stuck-up bitch" who thinks she’s "too good to take a man’s last name." This is the name I was born with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 139

By Its_Sinon - 12/11/2015 08:38 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I got married. After the ceremony, my sister asked to talk to me. I followed her and she told me that we are no longer related because we don't have the same last name anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 458

You deserved it 1 858

tooiecutie 6

Thursday 22 September 2011 0:22

bobaganush?

MaskedAspen 6

Thursday 22 September 2011 0:22

Norris ?

Comments

dunner12 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 10:56

Harder?? Did she get it tattooed on her lower back?

itschrisssybro 8

Thursday 22 September 2011 11:04

Jackson?

Lorus_fml 12

Thursday 22 September 2011 11:05

A cool last name is forever! Start a dynasty.

MwahFMLS 6

Thursday 22 September 2011 11:44

sheen?

skullivan 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 15:09

Sheen?

Freeze_fml 16

Thursday 22 September 2011 15:11

Having a cool last name never felt so disappointing.

DAbearz95 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 16:31

Eastwood?

HungerGames95 13

Thursday 22 September 2011 22:57

you don't mess with clint

Marlipe 1

Thursday 22 September 2011 17:06

whats your last name?

BloodyMary666 24

Thursday 22 September 2011 17:10

Ok, now I wanna know!

cecilk 29

Thursday 22 September 2011 17:33

Still figuring out how I tell my fiancé that I want to keep my name. It's short and morbid. His is boring and long.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 685

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 572

You deserved it 52 888

The Top

Today, my girlfriend planned our day, she wanted to play FIFA before having sex. I won 11-0. She stormed out of the room, went home and isn't picking my calls / texting back. It's been 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 999

You deserved it 1 047

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 767

You deserved it 9 139

Today, just like the past 10 days, I have COVID. Today was also the day my body decided to betray me. I threw up and simultaneously shit myself for the first time since I was in diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 120

Today, my new boyfriend told me he has no interest in being a dad, never has, never will, so the first time I ask him for any sort of help with my son he’s out the door. I'd dump his ass, but my mum just died so I have nowhere to go, and literally cannot afford both rent and food without his wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 704

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 120

You deserved it 62 438

Today, I found out that my insurance canceled my contract, claiming I hadn't paid, even though I had. I only discovered this because I backed into a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 118

Same thing different taste

Bee in her bonnet

The patriarchy rules

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