Love: Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because...

By Anonymous - 21/09/2011 18:39 - United States

Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 980

You deserved it 4 517

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/07/2014 01:27 - United States - Sandston

Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 768

You deserved it 5 644

By new name - 06/11/2012 22:03 - United States - Storrs Mansfield

Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 348

You deserved it 16 595

By singleagain - 15/05/2012 01:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 033

You deserved it 42 501

By unloved - 18/01/2010 05:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife changed her name back to her maiden name. Why? So people would stop asking questions about us. We have been married for 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 043

You deserved it 2 754

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 22:10 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 831

You deserved it 3 394

By Anonymous - 29/10/2010 03:36 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 168

You deserved it 2 924

Bee in her bonnet

By Anonymous - 12/06/2024 13:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my wife bumped into my ex-girlfriend from before we met. My wife said that she’s glad she's hotter than her, and we laughed. She has now mentioned this every hour since then, and now insists I list the reasons why she’s hotter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 103

By Anonymous - 16/04/2018 19:00

Today, my wife sent me a text expressing her "love and thinking to the future with you, Chad". Too bad my name isn't Chad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 881

You deserved it 266

The patriarchy rules

By hyphen - 09/12/2020 18:01 - United States - Denver

Today, I was talking to a new friend when I told him my last name. It’s hyphenated. He then left and declared me to be a "stuck-up bitch" who thinks she’s "too good to take a man’s last name." This is the name I was born with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 139

By Its_Sinon - 12/11/2015 08:38 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I got married. After the ceremony, my sister asked to talk to me. I followed her and she told me that we are no longer related because we don't have the same last name anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 458

You deserved it 1 858

tooiecutie 6

Thursday 22 September 2011 0:22

bobaganush?

MaskedAspen 6

Thursday 22 September 2011 0:22

Norris ?

Comments

iLoveUnicornss 6

Thursday 22 September 2011 4:21

Well , if it is either Norris or Potter , I would totally marry you too .

cuddlebunny3548 11

Thursday 22 September 2011 4:23

Lol sound like something I would do :/

bobby94_fml 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 4:26

Mr sherbert? I would marry u 2 if thats the case

PinkPrincesse 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 4:29

At Least She Loves You Right?

DreBeezy 9

Thursday 22 September 2011 4:38

Well, hey atleast you can flaughnt about your cool last name

mj_ok 9

Thursday 22 September 2011 4:45

Well, is your last name cool?(:

HeavenKD 3

Thursday 22 September 2011 4:45

I've yet to read any comments any comments as I'm on a mobile platform and i assume that I will be the 99999999th person to ask but, what is your last name?

thinkingatheist 8

Thursday 22 September 2011 4:58

Now, go to your wife, look her straight in the eye being all serious and say "Let's make babies now!!"

matttheman25 8

Thursday 22 September 2011 5:00

YDI for falling for her but kudos to an epic name. If you didn't like it that's when you take her name(people do that believe it or not).

howicu 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 5:09

That's a win

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I saw my ex, who had dumped me for not being “ambitious” enough. I'd said she was just a gold digger and would die alone. She looked amazing at the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in town, and was celebrating being made partner at her law firm. I was bussing tables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 663

Today, I was at a family gathering and during a lull in the conversation I started to tell a joke to lighten the mood. Halfway through, I realized the joke was incredibly inappropriate. The room fell silent, and my grandma hasn’t looked at me the same since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 559

The Top

Today, while working in my pawn shop, I was showing jewelry to a distinguished lady. I had to fart. I tried to wait. It was too much, so I let it slip silently. As she handled a $2000 necklace, I realized that the 2-foot counter between us would never save her from the foul poisonous cloud that had formed. She realized it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 360

Today, my wife spent all day texting me dirty things so I used some of my holiday hours to come home 3 hours early for some sexy time. During my drive home she got in a bad mood, and no longer wanted sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 129

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 689

You deserved it 5 911

Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 905

You deserved it 3 678

Today, I was looking for a parking spot and finally found one. Trying to figure out if the spot was legal, I asked a cop that had pulled up. He said it was fine. I came back 3 hours later to a parking ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 988

You deserved it 4 008

Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 351

You deserved it 742

Same thing different taste

Bee in her bonnet

The patriarchy rules

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