Kids: Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet...

By Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - 14/02/2015 09:46 - United States - Sparks

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 405

You deserved it 3 639

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/06/2010 16:43 - United States

Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 960

You deserved it 4 504

Well done sweetie

By Mommy - 29/09/2010 22:47 - United States

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 506

You deserved it 3 676

If it's brown, let it float around.

By Anonymous - 12/03/2017 07:00 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 315

You deserved it 359

By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 142

You deserved it 6 496

By Disgruntled - 16/03/2016 12:01 - United States - East Lansing

Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 149

You deserved it 1 299

Too real

By ann - 05/06/2021 14:00

Today, my daughter complained that she no longer wanted to talk about poop, as it grosses her out. This is a girl who can eat a rare steak while watching a guy’s arms get hacked off on TV, but poop is where she draws the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 854

Oh, hai Mark!

By lyle - 02/04/2021 08:00

Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 198

Toilet training

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 17:12 - United States - Houston

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 358

You deserved it 2 783

By rkl2010 - 23/05/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 464

You deserved it 3 456

Boys will be annoying boys

By shouldve used a condom - 29/06/2022 14:00

Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 285

ImTheAlpha 30

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:19

Don't you just love children?

Attacksloth 33

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:31

A word of advice for people who insist on using the same three puns: Stop.

Comments

tempermental 19

Sunday 15 February 2015 3:47

This could be so much worse...

XBurytheCastleX 25

Sunday 15 February 2015 4:09

That only happened because Clyde wouldn't put the seat down. Teach your daughter that she's safe unless the seat is up.

chocolateaxeguy 7

Sunday 15 February 2015 4:27

Good thing it wasn't Mr. Hanky. . .that could have led to a new kind of horror

ayyy_bro 26

Sunday 15 February 2015 4:31

South Park: ruining all kids' morals and destroying what their parents taught them. Still funny as hell though.

hambro 9

Sunday 15 February 2015 4:32

why are they even watching that!?

lekimdraw 3

Sunday 15 February 2015 4:36

that's when you make your youngest ones sister change her diaper until she potty trains her again.

connorb16 7

Sunday 15 February 2015 5:25

My brother did the same to me but it was a snake..

blackonblight 32

Sunday 15 February 2015 5:37

That's one that actually happens. Look up news stories of guys getting bit on the dick and/or ass by snakes in their toilets. I can guarantee you'll find multiple sourced examples.

militarybrat 21

Sunday 15 February 2015 6:46

If the oldest is still quite you g YDI for allowing her to watch that show. But FYL anyways, so I put both.

militarybrat 21

Sunday 15 February 2015 6:49

Ugh I'm tired. Disregard errors.

Rodopen 19

Sunday 15 February 2015 8:52

First off why the hell do you let your kids watch South Park?

NamelessFace 22

Sunday 15 February 2015 19:42

If the oldest one is old enough for it (and if she's mature, she really doesn't need to be 17+, let's be real here) then why the hell should OP stop her?

JazNim17 18

Sunday 15 February 2015 22:34

I doubt a mature person would show something like that to a child knowing that it could effect them. She sabotaged her little sister's potty training. So probably not mature enough for South Park.