Kids: Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet...

By Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - 14/02/2015 09:46 - United States - Sparks

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 405

You deserved it 3 639

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/06/2010 16:43 - United States

Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 960

You deserved it 4 504

Well done sweetie

By Mommy - 29/09/2010 22:47 - United States

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 506

You deserved it 3 676

If it's brown, let it float around.

By Anonymous - 12/03/2017 07:00 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 315

You deserved it 359

By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 142

You deserved it 6 496

By Disgruntled - 16/03/2016 12:01 - United States - East Lansing

Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 149

You deserved it 1 299

Too real

By ann - 05/06/2021 14:00

Today, my daughter complained that she no longer wanted to talk about poop, as it grosses her out. This is a girl who can eat a rare steak while watching a guy’s arms get hacked off on TV, but poop is where she draws the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 854

Oh, hai Mark!

By lyle - 02/04/2021 08:00

Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 198

Toilet training

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 17:12 - United States - Houston

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 358

You deserved it 2 783

By rkl2010 - 23/05/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 464

You deserved it 3 456

Boys will be annoying boys

By shouldve used a condom - 29/06/2022 14:00

Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 285

ImTheAlpha 30

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:19

Don't you just love children?

Attacksloth 33

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:31

A word of advice for people who insist on using the same three puns: Stop.

Comments

0mysteriousman0 22

Sunday 15 February 2015 0:40

You just have to love South Park. Brilliant... Unfortunate though :(

chosha_fml 26

Sunday 15 February 2015 0:50

Is the sister a LOT older? Because if not, you might a little bit deserve this for letting the older one watch South Park.

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 15 February 2015 0:54

That really sucks intestines. Seriously, the older sibling would be in so much trouble that they would start feeling flushed.

sarahmaxine 19

Sunday 15 February 2015 1:11

Tell her that not wearing diapers past [age] will make her immune to the evil intestine-sucking toilet

joelp232 17

Sunday 15 February 2015 1:14

now that is cruel and unusual punishment

iwadasn 32

Sunday 15 February 2015 2:01

Since it's her fault that Little Sis isn't using the toilet, she should be put on diaper duty until she does.

Thnks_Fr_Th_Bnds 15

Sunday 15 February 2015 2:03

thats seems really SHITTY hehehe

clair_brodie 35

Sunday 15 February 2015 2:28

Why are you letting your kids watch South Park?

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Friday 9 September 2016 4:13

Maybe her oldest daughter is old enough to watch the show, and she doesn't allow her toddler to watch it. What her oldest did was unacceptable though, not showing her younger sister South Park, but showing her a clip from the show to scare her during her toilet training.

ZomBgal 12

Sunday 15 February 2015 2:59

You should just explain that the moral of that episode is telling people to leave the lid down, not to teach people about dying on the toilet in general. I doubt it will help much though...