Work: Today, on my break, I decided to be friendly and chat with a...

By loverofstrife - 07/10/2009 22:36 - United States

Today, on my break, I decided to be friendly and chat with a co-worker that everyone else always seems to avoid. He spent the next ten minutes telling me all about his abcessing sebaceous cysts. Apparently, "The scars look just like gunshot wounds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 109

You deserved it 5 619

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

The strangeness of strangers

By TMI - 12/06/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, a man with one eye and a severely disfigured face accosted me at the grocery store. What started as a question about my shirt became an explanation for why he looks the way he does: He took a shotgun blast to the face. I didn't ask about or even draw attention to his appearance. Sweet dreams for me tonight! FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 113

By Neckbruise101 - 15/10/2016 06:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 647

You deserved it 871

By collball22 - 22/08/2011 04:58 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend and I said that I was self-conscious of my acne. He told me that only one of my zits was noticeable and that it wasn't so bad. In fact he said it looked cool, like a bullet wound or something "awesome" like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 419

You deserved it 5 409

By Breanne - 14/07/2011 15:25 - Canada

Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 265

You deserved it 2 323

By Anonymous - 20/07/2013 21:31 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 586

You deserved it 3 975

Mean Girls

By 1nfected - 26/08/2009 17:07 - Canada

Today, when I arrived at work, I was greeted by my gorgeous coworker telling me my red shirt looked awesome on me. Before I could compliment her, she added that the color was fitting perfectly with my acne. I heard a couple of giggles around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 415

You deserved it 3 638

By CyberPsycho - 28/07/2016 16:24 - United States - Nashville

Today, I noticed quite a few scars on one of my coworker's legs. I pulled her aside and told her that self-harm was never the answer, and if she needed to talk I was always there. Turns out she's just clumsy and trips a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 129

You deserved it 6 152

It's the thought that counts

By no good deed - 23/07/2020 20:02

Today, I was feeling pretty down due to a recent back injury, so I thought I’d do something nice to help lift my spirits. I bought some cookies for my coworkers, who ended up not wanting any, and one of them decided to ask what was wrong with my face. Oh, right, my acne rosacea is flaring too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 490

You deserved it 262

By elite - 19/01/2012 21:59

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 483

You deserved it 4 357

Scary

By Adan - 04/12/2012 21:34 - United States - Monroe

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 681

You deserved it 25 212

starvingxartist 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 1:58

"Any job I ever had in my life, I talked to that guy...You know why I talk to that guy? Cause when that day comes, when he snaps, and he comes into work with a sawn-off shotgun, walking through the halls and he finally gets to my office he's gonna be like........'thanks for the candy.'" Just sayin'.

TheKitsune 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 1:55

I think it's important to reference Dane Cook here. "Thanks for the candy."

Comments

scateice 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 2:02

Give him a lollipop -hehehehe random

ireply_w_lyrics 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 2:11

"...'ll take you to the candy shop I'll let you lick the lollipop Go 'head girl, don't you stop Keep going 'til you hit the spot..."

redbluegreen 40

Thursday 8 October 2009 2:09

You want some too?

TheKitsune 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 2:14

And then my day is good. Thanks for the laugh XD

Syn_fml 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 2:16

All right.

plexico 3

Thursday 8 October 2009 2:23

You ought to tell him about your dangling hemorrhoids and tell him they look like raw bacon. You won't have to worry about Mr. Oozing Pimples (OP ;) ) again, he'll out-avoid you.