Transportation: Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds...

By planes - 30/12/2009 06:27 - United States

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 006

You deserved it 2 614

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Same thing different taste

Get me out of here

By IamHM - 19/07/2016 18:36 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 270

You deserved it 1 759

By Ashleigh - 22/04/2011 18:43 - United States

Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 736

You deserved it 3 487

Turbulence

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 21:30

Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 13:34 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 688

You deserved it 7 225

On the down low

By Anonymous - 31/07/2024 06:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, during a long flight, I tried to discreetly pass gas. Instead, I misjudged the pressure and ended up making a loud noise that everyone around me seemingly heard. To make matters worse, the flight attendant asked if everything was OK. Now I’m probably remembered as "Farts on a plane." FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 465

By pootie - 11/12/2013 13:14 - United States - Miami

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 580

You deserved it 7 568

Have a nice trip!

By whatsmccraken - 10/09/2009 12:37 - Taiwan

Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 794

You deserved it 2 308

Get me out

By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 18:36 - United States

Today, I'm on a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 464

You deserved it 3 245

Banished

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 20:00

Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 807

PTSD

By anonymous - 18/06/2010 17:25 - United States

Today, I was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom. The guy next to me was asleep and blocking the aisle. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he responded by punching me in the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 329

You deserved it 3 772

davek 36

Wednesday 30 December 2009 12:23

"Psst. Stewardess? When the people behind me got their bag out of the overhead locker, I heard a weird ticking noise."

Weijun 2

Wednesday 30 December 2009 12:22

All that is missing is the screaming baby.

Comments

EveryDayJackAss 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 3:27

should've brought sleeping pills and a gas mask

coldglass 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 7:57

You deserved it for complaining over the internet. You'll get over it sometime.

Mustardnight 3

Thursday 31 December 2009 8:57

Wha? Layoffs? Anyways rolling on floor laughing my ass off, that guy farting was for sure me. Weird fml says i spilt the beeans, cause i assuredly ate them all before embarking on the plane. :3

fairies633 8

Thursday 31 December 2009 9:08

I woulda turned around, knock the kid upside the head, then I woulda called the steudardess and told her to make him stop farting or move

RuralNinja 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 9:12

YDI for not not doing anything about it.

bonance 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 9:35

ooh, sucks for you. :/ on the other hand, first class rules. :D

loszer96 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 17:20

here nxt time kill em both

jfournier 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 17:35

Turn the little air nozzle right on your face, and that can help keep the stink air away from your nose. Helps sitting in the last row next to the rest room line.

Mz_CaRtER 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 18:55

I feelz ya once in da movie theatre i was watchin dance flick and a boy n a grl was behind me the boy kept kickin ma chair and they kept makin commentson da movie like "o shit" n "dats a ugly motha f****" and dey kept laughin sooooo hard!!!! i wuz aboutz to say sumtin but i reallly wanted to watch the movie n i didnt wanna get kicked out sooo....yea! but yu had it harder cuz yours wuz 14 hours mines only like 1 and 40 min. srry fa u at least its ova wit!