Transportation: Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds...

By planes - 30/12/2009 06:27 - United States

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 006

You deserved it 2 614

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Same thing different taste

Get me out of here

By IamHM - 19/07/2016 18:36 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 270

You deserved it 1 759

By Ashleigh - 22/04/2011 18:43 - United States

Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 736

You deserved it 3 487

Turbulence

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 21:30

Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 13:34 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 688

You deserved it 7 225

On the down low

By Anonymous - 31/07/2024 06:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, during a long flight, I tried to discreetly pass gas. Instead, I misjudged the pressure and ended up making a loud noise that everyone around me seemingly heard. To make matters worse, the flight attendant asked if everything was OK. Now I’m probably remembered as "Farts on a plane." FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 465

By pootie - 11/12/2013 13:14 - United States - Miami

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 580

You deserved it 7 568

Have a nice trip!

By whatsmccraken - 10/09/2009 12:37 - Taiwan

Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 794

You deserved it 2 308

Get me out

By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 18:36 - United States

Today, I'm on a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 464

You deserved it 3 245

Banished

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 20:00

Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 807

PTSD

By anonymous - 18/06/2010 17:25 - United States

Today, I was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom. The guy next to me was asleep and blocking the aisle. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he responded by punching me in the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 329

You deserved it 3 772

davek 36

Wednesday 30 December 2009 12:23

"Psst. Stewardess? When the people behind me got their bag out of the overhead locker, I heard a weird ticking noise."

Weijun 2

Wednesday 30 December 2009 12:22

All that is missing is the screaming baby.

Comments

mrsnicks 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 20:04

So grow a pair and speak up.

humphrey107 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 20:47

why didn't you say something you sook?

8trickster8 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 21:25

BUT HOW DOES THIS RUIN YOUR LIFE!?!!11!!1!!

Jeffx2 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 21:31

Kids belong in the cargo hold with the pets.

schwinn11 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 22:36

Uhhhhh, do you have a voice? Speak up, tell the damn kid to stop kick'n your seat, and tell the bald **** if he can't stop shit'n himself needs to go to the restroom.

hjs_13 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 23:21

mmmkay, even tho its a little kid, you should have turned around and said something. and the guy fartin i mean for real, people stand up for yourself, i mean you dont have to be rude, but 14 hours of smellin nasty stuff from that mans crack, and that kidd mann forget that.

thefull9yards 4

Thursday 31 December 2009 1:08

put the recliner back al the way and rock back a bit to spill anything on there tray

punxxi 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 3:10

you can control a kid on a plane, it's called phenobarbital, works wonders, it does. and yes, you should have woke up the farter and told him about it, and you should have turned around and told the parent and the kid that the situation was intolerable. If they didn't try to control it, then your next step was to tell the crew to move either you or them. I bet you live in portland hehehehe.

r_max 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 3:13

If I were you I'd intentionally start dry heaving really loudly, while politely saying how you just cannot handle the smell. That should have embarrassed the idiot next to you.