Transportation: Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked... - FML

By nomorecookies - 06/08/2011 05:53 - United States

Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 626

You deserved it 3 822

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By JohnyP - 09/07/2011 07:04 - United States

Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 499

You deserved it 3 523

Glassed

By Rick - 01/07/2011 08:31 - United States

Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 652

You deserved it 2 504

By stop thief - 26/06/2014 15:11 - United States - Aurora

Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 040

You deserved it 6 092

Troll level 3000

By really?! - 22/03/2020 06:30

Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 145

By Eli - 14/01/2010 00:08 - United States

Today, I was pointing out my car to my roommate. He responded with, "Oh that one with the broken window?" Turns out my car had been broken into. They took my CD player, GPS and Ipod. On top of that they left a Reese's Fastbreak wrapper and sunflower seeds on my front seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 771

You deserved it 3 648

By Anonymous - 16/10/2010 21:54 - United States

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 456

You deserved it 3 489

By Anonymous - 10/11/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 119

You deserved it 2 717

Who did you piss off?

By Smashed - 15/11/2009 23:16 - United States

Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 529

You deserved it 2 613

By teinage - 02/05/2011 18:47 - Belgium

Today, some kids stole all four wheels off my car. They were nice enough to leave a note and some money though, "for the bus". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 776

You deserved it 3 104

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 12:14 - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 723

You deserved it 5 324

Next

Top comments

Spade606 6

Saturday 6 August 2011 15:55

At least you have good cooking skills

Jourjour 0

Saturday 6 August 2011 15:56

Cookie monster escaped again?

Comments

lvenom 0

Tuesday 24 July 2012 13:16

those must have been some damn good cookies

azhang1066 12

Thursday 18 July 2013 0:44

At least they were polite about it

gennyv 29

Saturday 17 January 2015 23:42

That can be a funny story to tell people

chromedome26 6

Thursday 22 October 2015 0:44

A million Sesame Street references but not a single one about scrubs -_-

gatorgirl7563 22

Monday 1 February 2016 17:08

Don't fix your window. Bake more cookies using rotten eggs this time and/or laxatives of some kind. Return on the same day of the week around the same time. Laugh gleefully as you allow cookies to be stolen again. Fix window. You're welcome.

StarkWolf_fml 23

Monday 20 March 2017 22:26

quick to Sesame Street!

Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20

Wednesday 12 July 2017 16:08

That sounds like sth I'd do lol. But I'd propably leave some money behind to fix the glas...

lanexox1d 22

Thursday 16 July 2020 5:56

do you live in Canada? 😅

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 035

You deserved it 4 250

USA, USA, USA; well, almost. Today we're not welcoming a French artist, not even an American artist, but an artist from... oh, you'll see! Are you in a hurry or something? Why can't we just sit down, have a nice cup of tea and talk about the future? ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 15

The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend of ten months that I'm not ready for marriage. A few hours later he proposed at my grandma's 85th birthday party. She cried when I said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 771

You deserved it 11 651

Today, It’s the middle of the night and I just watched a Kenny G documentary, and found it absolutely fascinating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 264

Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 645

You deserved it 2 998

Today, I found out that the only reason my guy friends actually hang out with me at my house all the time is because they think my mom is hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 498

You deserved it 2 525

Today, some kid was scratching the side of my car with a brick so I yelled at him, then I yelled at his parents. They didn’t speak English and when cops arrived they told me I should have been more understanding and I was lucky not to be charged with verbally assaulting them. WHAT THE FUCK? FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 108

Today, I took the kids to the pool. I'm short and 20lbs overweight but they talked me into it and I put on a swimsuit for the first time in 10 years. As soon as we got there, a girl my height but a good 150lbs heavier said, "It's so nice to see another big girl in a two-piece!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 266

You deserved it 729