no i'm buying it 4 your wife

-cough- Yes XD

Just say you're buying for his fat wife. Clerk: is this for you? op: no, its for your fat wife who cant stop eating at McDonalds. Herp derp...

is ok at least your trying to better yourself

It's called lying. Sometimes it's the best way out. If a woman asks you if some pants make her butt look fat, the answer is always no. Even if looks like she's smuggling two watermelons coated in large-curd cottage cheese, any other answer with bring hellfire down on you.

I dislike nosy cashiers. There's a big difference between making small talk and invading the customer's privacy, particularly with those sort of items. I mean if someone buys tampons are you going to say "on your period, eh?" I don't imagine you would, unless you lack etiquette in all forms.

"No, it's for my partner, he's got them radiating out from his asshole in a starburst pattern. Yeah, my dick is that big! Are you glad you asked?"

You could have... Why tell the truth about that?

"Yes, it is." Then get on with your life.

What a stupid question, I guess that's why they work at walmart