Intimacy: Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of...

By bjfail - 09/01/2010 15:56 - United Kingdom

Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 527

You deserved it 4 898

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Same thing different taste

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 764

You deserved it 15 173

Worn out

By Anonymous - 18/11/2010 16:09 - Canada

Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 912

You deserved it 5 986

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 14:19 - Australia

Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 320

You deserved it 21 499

Relaxed

By sarabellekitty - 21/10/2019 04:00

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 354

Snooze fest

By Karly - 03/02/2022 20:00

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 238

Sexy talk

By dtmfa - 31/10/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, I spent the night with my guy, who I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back, he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 259

You deserved it 4 978

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 08:56 - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 153

You deserved it 5 978

By Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 616

You deserved it 8 230

Kinky

By 9gingerface66 - 15/01/2012 06:29 - United States

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 864

You deserved it 4 680

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 539

You deserved it 5 452

UnicornsDoExist 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 20:44

since when do snores sound like moans of pleasure?

amberbby69 6

Saturday 9 January 2010 20:43

If he actually stopped you in the middle, then that means you were just bad, period.

Comments

leadrunner751 3

Saturday 9 January 2010 20:15

ouch

chopra 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 23:52

ydi for being a ****

underaegis 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 8:47

...……uh...ugh... Ouch

Dimmak_fml 1

Saturday 9 January 2010 20:16

first

Metzler31 17

Sunday 25 April 2010 1:36

stfu

Cjw1220 0

Tuesday 20 July 2010 1:07

FAIL!

cupcakechick 17

Thursday 7 March 2013 20:13

Actually you're second. :)

soccer4ever7 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 20:20

wow

1800getalife 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 20:20

number two epic fail

RainbowGecko 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 20:25

this is definitly fake... nice try tho

cupcakechick 17

Thursday 7 March 2013 20:15

not true, this happened to me once with my ex boyfriend, he come home super tired, and eneded up falling asleep while I was giving him a bj

vgmaster 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 20:25

burn!!!!!!!!!

btheman549 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 20:33

wow u must b bad!

jmateo_95 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 20:36

YDI.... u ugly bitch

craze189 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 20:37

YDI for giving boring blow-j's. It's sad, but it's true. Actually, FHL.

liquidbunny 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 20:40

was his name Sanjiv by any chance? lol

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, my husband threw a bitch-fit and made passive aggressive remarks throughout the entire day. What did I do? Call him out on commenting an eggplant, peach, and winky face emoji under a female friend’s picture. He deactivated all social media accounts and shouted, “Are you happy now? I can’t talk to anyone now!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 94

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 3 210

The Top

Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend at his job. When I saw he wasn't there, I asked a co-worker, who told me his "sister" came by earlier. He's an only child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 69

Today, I asked my coworker for her name. She screamed at me because apparently I'd already asked her 5 times before. I have no memory of any of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 268

Today, I asked a guy to change into a gown for an X-ray exam. I asked him to leave his underwear on, everything else off. Apparently he was going commando, as he left skid marks on my table when the exam was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 089

You deserved it 168

Today, I was told to be at a job site bright and early. I woke up and pounded several body smashing drinks to get going. They then called to tell me work was canceled due to weather. It's 6am. I can’t get back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 413

You deserved it 864

Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 230

You deserved it 42 231

Today, I found out that a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase the paint right off your wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 260

You deserved it 6 737