By crushed - 29/09/2011 14:32 - Australia

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 447
You deserved it 3 818
Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

foxman47 3

How bad does your resume have to suck for this to happen?

58 2

Comments

nater535 7

Perseverance will get you places in life!!!

1 0
Garytt 0

How do people live unemployeed for that long?

0 8
ThreeSheetsGone 12

Dumpster diving, panhandling, drug dealing, etc. The possibilities are endless when you're creative and/or willing to break a few laws.

4 1
thiscrazything 1

Government assistance

4 0
LadyLexi 0

Damn. That sucks. Try McDonalds? (no offense) And if THEY don't accept you..then...your ******.

8 0
TheFlyingMan 8

Ahah, woooow. Well, you know, what with the economy and such, and also, you might have a lot of competition as such and might not stand out. My advice? Use ALLCAPS. It works.

4 1
rexgar2000 10

if that's you in the pic.. do you need a male slave? lol jk

3 0
perdix 29

YDI for NOT being a *****! That profession predates writing so I am sure you do not need a resume for that. After that long being unemployed, you become unemployable. Now you have to go in for humiliating unpaid internships and volunteer work to show that you can regularly show up for work. Then, you can attempt to find a paying gig.

7 2
False_Stupidity 41

Not always true, I was unemployed for a little over 3 years before landing the job I've now been doing for 5.

0 0
every1luvsboners 11

Using Cheech & Chong as your references probably doesn't look so good to potential employers.

6 2
RedPillSucks 31

That was a long time now.... Cheech is now a very successful actor and philanthropist. He was on "Lost", and "Law and Order", among other recent shows... As for Johnny Chong, well..... You have a point.... But his daughter is gorgeous!!! That's gotta count for something, right?

4 1
Qwermy 16

Chong started a successful business selling bongs (of course). He was then arrested (on grounds which can be considered entrapment). But his cellmate was Jordan Belfort. Yes, the Wolf of Wall Street himself. The more you know....

0 0
ScarletBloom 14

There must be a particular reason why nobody hires you.

0 0
Cairo_Sanchez 8

Maybe try updating your resume, simply changing it up can help.

0 0
HomeAl0ne 20

I suggest you use Comic Sans font, as that suggests a fun, unconventional personality. And add in a few of those modern looking clipart pics. Can you believe Microsoft just give them away for free!!! Then, print it on coloured paper (light purple is good), and for that personal touch draw little hearts over every 'i' in the text. Send this version in every day for a week, then ring them up and tell them you'll stop when they find you a job. Should do the trick.

1 0
DocBastard 38

You know you're a total loser when: - You tried to sign up for Match.com and eHarmony.com, but they both said "Go away. You're an asshole". - You got turned down for donating blood because they thought that you "just look like someone who would have hepatitis C". - The Salvation Army refused your donation because all your stuff was complete crap. - Homeless people start offering YOU money. - A job search agency can't find you a job after 3 years.

12 3
olpally 32

Docbastard's advice- priceless :D

0 2
stacianichole 2

Salvation Army turns down a lot of donations and throws away a lot of stuff. They're actually kind of picky... I worked there. :(

0 1
perdix 29

Doc, On a somewhat related note, I signed up on AshleyMadison.com as a 4'4", 300 lb female troll named something like "FuckOff." She gets a disturbing amount of attention. One guy offered to take her to a Packers game. I was trying to figure out how to disguise myself and go.

1 1
DocBastard 38

Perdix, have the guy mail the ticket to an anonymous post office box, and just go to the game. When the guy notices you aren't 4' 4", 300 pounds, or a woman, just tell him you just bought the ticket from a scalper matching that description. Bam, free Packers ticket.

1 0