Intimacy: Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started...

By Anonymous - 10/02/2012 05:31 - United States

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 975

You deserved it 7 285

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Same thing different taste

Romantic afterglow

By easyontheeyes1 - 01/05/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 490

So sensual...

By Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 076

You deserved it 1 157

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 274

You deserved it 7 766

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 773

You deserved it 15 179

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 935

You deserved it 10 196

By thisblows - 16/03/2011 16:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 839

You deserved it 8 748

Steamy

By Anonymous - 20/05/2019 06:35

Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 3 401

Excuuuuuuse me?

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 13:32 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 488

You deserved it 11 509

By Busted - 21/10/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 208

You deserved it 4 277

By gettinghotinhere - 17/10/2014 18:29 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 825

You deserved it 6 873

JenDanielle917 13

Friday 10 February 2012 12:18

Guys want sex with a girl, not Darth Vader.

TylerOMFG 7

Friday 10 February 2012 12:05

Lol. Isn't it usually the guy getting steamy with it?

Comments

maiamafia 6

Friday 10 February 2012 17:58

Next time, assuming there is a next time, Op should scream Shut up and gimme the business!

Just_Me_88 8

Friday 10 February 2012 18:11

LOL sounds like he was doing his job right and didn't have a clue, LOL

hateevryone 14

Friday 10 February 2012 18:31

he's so stupid. what other type of sounds do he expect?

Sanch101 7

Friday 10 February 2012 18:35

If you do it right it is a marathon and not a sprint.

musicluvr2000 11

Friday 10 February 2012 18:47

Did you win?

causticgirl 6

Friday 10 February 2012 19:00

Next time scream his name (or really any name would do) at the top of your lungs. He'll wish for the subtle moaning

bubo_fml 10

Friday 10 February 2012 19:58

I had the opposite problem...My over-sexed ex-wife threatened to stick a cattle prod up my jacksee if I didn't "get my ass in gear" during her sex marathons...

Fulgore_fml 1

Friday 10 February 2012 20:19

Maybe he's a virgin......?

Ressamies 6

Friday 10 February 2012 21:17

That guy must like being under...

Andrewgfffff 0

Friday 10 February 2012 21:26

Come on guys, stop giving the guy a hard time. Fair play if that's what she does naturally, but it sounds like the BF thought she was over-exaggerating.