Intimacy: Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky...

By oops - 29/07/2015 06:15 - United States

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 963

You deserved it 9 774

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Same thing different taste

Sneaky

By TasedAndDazed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 618

You deserved it 43 658

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 746

By Anonymous - 31/08/2013 20:52 - Norway - Nesoddtangen

Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 928

You deserved it 4 019

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 199

You deserved it 3 113

By fmlfmlfml - 10/07/2009 05:27 - Canada

Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 887

You deserved it 60 980

Secretive

By whattheHellman - 23/10/2022 09:00 - Australia - Traralgon

Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 123

By breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 681

You deserved it 69 953

By whymyroomthough - 06/08/2014 22:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 194

You deserved it 3 230

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 992

You deserved it 8 943

Baseless assumptions

By afafakfhsg - 19/02/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 384

You deserved it 12 103

illusionay 10

Wednesday 29 July 2015 15:51

At least he cares about you

Wolfipoo 31

Wednesday 29 July 2015 15:52

Sucks to be you OP, but seriously, be more careful and check next time.

Comments

EclipseCandy6 24

Wednesday 29 July 2015 21:48

I don't know why so many people are complaining that she mentioned her brother is autistic. It's the truth and a part of the situation. And she's not saying it to be mean. Also autistic people get scared quite easily and worry.. My best friend has an autistic brother and a brother who is not autistic. If this situation happened with each of them they would be very different situations. So although no one is judging her brother for having a condition he cannot help, it is actually relevant

ColdRoxas 18

Wednesday 29 July 2015 23:24

no one should judge her brother, her brother is awesome that's how you know he has her back

blkPrinc3 5

Wednesday 29 July 2015 22:02

I'm more concerned with her choice of words. She said half way through he burst in. Does that after the fact the second half took place? If not how do you know it was half way? Lol but seriously at least you know your bro has your back.

ChristinePi 36

Wednesday 29 July 2015 22:08

Aw it's cute how concerned he was! Some siblings just wouldn't care.

Tyrez 32

Wednesday 29 July 2015 22:40

Nice job, you probably scarred the poor guy for life!

mrlawlor7777 26

Wednesday 29 July 2015 22:57

Ray, are you in here? Ray? Yeah, I heard noises. Ray, get the hell out of here.

GeorgiaBea 28

Thursday 30 July 2015 1:15

That's sweet that he thought of you. Maybe don't do that without checking first.

brycemash 9

Thursday 30 July 2015 1:48

I think we need a follow up ;)

semitoundboss 4

Thursday 30 July 2015 2:28

That's kinda.... ****** up! Badum Tsss. Sigh. I'll grab my coat and show myself out.

watermelon_bae 15

Thursday 30 July 2015 3:20

Hey, at least he cares about you and your wellbeing! A while back, I had a nasty illness and when my parents weren't home, I had a horrible cough attack and couldn't breathe or catch my breath for almost five minutes and almost passed out. I had fallen on the floor and couldn't get up or get to the phone and my brother with autism was standing over me laughing at me because he thought that it was a joke. Granted it wasn't his fault, but still... You're very lucky!!!

pixierara 28

Thursday 30 July 2015 4:43

Lol this reminds me of a story one of my friends told me: these two people were 69 and her little brother walked in the room asking what they were doing, they said wrestling so he asked to join ?