Love and Health: Today, I learned that the super cute guy I've been dating for...

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By Peachtree - 04/06/2018 15:00

Today, I learned that the super cute guy I've been dating for the last 4 weeks is a total gross slob. His house was like a garbage skip, literally ankle deep in garbage, pizza boxes, old crud, and filth. It stank of cat urine and there was poop residue in his toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 741

You deserved it 482

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Same thing different taste

Drunken antics

By Anonymous - 10/12/2020 11:02 - Canada - Sherbrooke

Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 146

Roommate from hell

By Anonymous - 13/10/2020 10:57 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, after I had the place to myself for a while and it was easy to clean, my roommate returned and I woke up to trash piling up, dishes everywhere, and luggage full of sweaty laundry. Oh, and it smells like poo again, because he doesn't regularly shower. I want to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 168

By unknown - 24/01/2010 15:27 - France

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't showered since our first date. We've been dating for three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 266

You deserved it 4 817

By Becca - 31/01/2010 05:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 079

You deserved it 7 044

Parting shit

By smellymcgee - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Farmington

Today, I came home to the vilest stench I've ever smelled. I had to open a floor vent and scoop up the turd that was inside. Funnily enough, today was the day my scumbag roommate moved out, but I'm sure he had absolutely nothing to do with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 930

You deserved it 887

By upsetandannoyed - 01/01/2012 05:41 - United States

Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent four hours cleaning my apartment. Two minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 998

You deserved it 3 695

By msjustine - 06/05/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 967

You deserved it 13 379

Cook out

By zazadudu - 23/12/2008 06:47 - France

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he came up the stairs, "Stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the trash. We'll eat sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 021

You deserved it 4 029

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 06:29 - Norway - Oslo

Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over two years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 973

You deserved it 2 485

By meeeeeee - 26/11/2011 15:38 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend peeing in the cat's litter box. I'm the one who has to clean it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 989

You deserved it 3 907

RichardPencil 30

Monday 4 June 2018 22:23

Details like that don’t matter when urine love.

DianaRawrz 13

Wednesday 9 May 2018 3:34

Well, time to dump him.

Comments

cornyrob 33

Tuesday 5 June 2018 2:17

There is absolutely no excuse for poop residue in the toilet. Major slob.

mattyiscool123 26

Tuesday 5 June 2018 3:26

Ross?

AcieMcG 21

Tuesday 5 June 2018 4:43

Lol came to just find this comment

Shay 💃// LATATA민니✨ 1

Tuesday 5 June 2018 3:33

Time to leave.

PenguinPal3017 19

Tuesday 5 June 2018 6:00

The most shocking part is that you stuck around long enough to use the bathroom.

GustaBustaNut 8

Tuesday 5 June 2018 6:11

Sarah Yake 11

Tuesday 5 June 2018 7:02

Run away. Run FAR away. #FuckThisShitI'mOut

Lobby_Bee 17

Tuesday 5 June 2018 10:19

No time to clean up when you need all the time to keep your looks in check.

nykkiyo16 13

Tuesday 5 June 2018 15:30

Marc?

dexter420 21

Wednesday 6 June 2018 0:46

When do you move in?

DanielleinDC 33

Wednesday 6 June 2018 14:54

The dude must be on drugs of some sort. Nobody is this much of a slob unless they've got serious problems.

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The Top

Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing for 5 months over. We got some chicken nuggets, but didn’t eat because he stripped my clothes off and we started having sex. Out of nowhere, he said, "I can’t do this!" and left. He took the chicken nuggets with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 931

You deserved it 503

Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML

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The Top

Today, thanks to all my medications, I've been growing thick, dark hair on my face. I decided to use hair removal cream instead of shaving. The cream removed every trace of hair, but also made my skin about 4 times lighter than the rest of my face. It's even more noticeable than the beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 253

Today, I submitted an offer on a house. I got a call a few minutes later saying that it had collapsed. FML

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Today, my mum and I decided to go on a hike. Beforehand we left my car at the end of the trail and took my mums car to the beginning. After 4 hours we arrived at my car. I had left my keys in mums car. It was a long walk back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 381

You deserved it 29 322

Today, my boyfriend decided to piss in the shower while I was standing next to him. I did not mind, until I realised the water flows away incredibly slowly. I had to stand in his piss while the shower filled itself with the sweet odor of fresh urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 585

You deserved it 6 423

Today, my car’s at the mechanic's so I called my mom and asked her to come pick me up from class, since it ends at 9pm and I was scared to walk home at night. She told me, “Oh honey, you have nothing to worry about, you’re too fat to get raped, plus you need the exercise.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 204

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years threatened to break up with me because when she came by my work, she saw me talking to another girl. The girl was a trainee. I'm the boss of the company, so it's my responsibility to train new people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 943

You deserved it 231