Miscellaneous: Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air,...

By stupidity - 25/05/2012 19:30 - Switzerland - Geneva

Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 780

You deserved it 39 011

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Same thing different taste

Cool moves

By UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH - 09/11/2022 22:00

Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 185

Freeze!

By Anonymous - 03/06/2024 06:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 440

Sorry

By Dang - 29/01/2017 18:00 - United States - Freeport

Today, I was in class with a water bottle on my desk. I was on my phone not paying attention, when some girl knocked it over by accident. I went to grab it, even though it was in the corner of my eye. I caught the bottle of water but I also happened to grab her ass at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 434

You deserved it 1 198

By Simon - 30/12/2008 11:14 - France

Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 133

You deserved it 53 526

Fragile

By lithium-dreams - 16/07/2022 22:00

Today, I attempted to open a water bottle. My hand started bleeding before I was able to get the cap loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 159

Tasty snack

By Thatkid - 18/02/2009 14:29 - Singapore

Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 703

You deserved it 56 621

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 246

You deserved it 4 260

By Anonymous - 21/05/2012 01:10 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 079

You deserved it 2 035

By bobuhbeartoe - 24/08/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 854

You deserved it 19 994

Got away with it, surely?

By Cinnanyan - 02/06/2016 10:20 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 768

You deserved it 2 628

TeaCakes 3

Saturday 26 May 2012 1:32

...Even if you did do it right, it still wouldn't make you look 'cool'.

FMLshark 12

Saturday 26 May 2012 1:35

"trying to look cool": The universal YDI phrase.

Comments

gAt_d 26

Friday 8 November 2013 21:44

Way to look cool, OP!

H3M1LY99 7

Tuesday 27 May 2014 6:32

I guess you're not so cool huh

rabid_otaku 29

Monday 8 September 2014 1:01

At least you're aware that you're stupid.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 11 505

Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 95

The Top

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 143

You deserved it 36 186

Today, my husband left me for one of the college students I was tutoring in Spanish. We have two kids and are expecting a third. He left a note that said he would "stay in touch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 163

You deserved it 2 835

Today, after years of trying, my husband and I did IVF, fertilized 5 eggs, and the whole process was really rough. Now, a year after giving birth to our daughter, my husband wants to use another egg, but I don’t want to go through that all again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 187

Today, I am so shy and friendless that my mother is literally setting up a play-date with one of her friend's daughters. I'm 25 years-old and this is my best chance at making a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 734

You deserved it 8 893

Today, I held the door open for an old lady, before realizing she was a teacher taking 20-plus kids to lunch at local burger joint, all of whom got in front of me in the line to order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 357

You deserved it 5 244

Today, I found out that my friend's adult daughter Renee is actually just him catfishing his friends with actress Jessica Jade Andres's pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 148