Health and Miscellaneous: Today, when I went over a bump, I was assaulted by a badly-fitted...

By anon - 07/02/2017 01:00 - United Kingdom - Ely

Today, when I went over a bump, I was assaulted by a badly-fitted bicycle seat. I've been walking like John Wayne all afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 102

You deserved it 779

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Same thing different taste

This is how I roll

By Carrie P - 14/08/2024 20:00 - France - Lambesc

Today, I went out to where I'd parked my bike only to find that someone had stolen my bike seat. Not the bike, just the seat. I had to ride my bike two miles home in the rain like I was climbing a hill in the Tour de France, while other cyclists moved out of my way in confusion, all while trying to avoid me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 82

BIKES

By ihpgolj - 18/06/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 878

You deserved it 43 977

Freakout!

By beer guy - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 547

You deserved it 2 571

By Anonymous - 16/09/2011 17:26 - United States

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 686

You deserved it 3 989

By myheadhurts - 12/11/2013 02:14 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 121

You deserved it 3 135

By Triple F - 07/03/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 188

You deserved it 40 326

Sorry!

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 14:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I got on the train with my bike, leaning it up against the wall. After a while, it began to slide down the wall and wobble, so I dashed out to catch it. As I ran for it, I slipped and crashed into it, knocking it into an old man and busting the rear brake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 306

You deserved it 4 928

Breaking the law (and bones)

By Carl - 18/09/2022 20:30

Today, I came out from the E.R. with an arm cast and stitches on my head, all because a cyclist ran me over on a pedestrian walkway and got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 91

By fuck right off - 04/04/2015 17:32 - United Kingdom - Coalville

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 537

You deserved it 3 025

Alexa, play "Fast Cars" by Buzzcocks

By Sparky - 20/07/2022 18:00

Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 246

RodzillaX 30

Tuesday 7 February 2017 4:32

Did your bike at least kiss you first?

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 7 February 2017 2:04

That's nuts!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 7 February 2017 2:04

That's nuts!

RodzillaX 30

Tuesday 7 February 2017 4:32

Did your bike at least kiss you first?

tomvertigo 17

Tuesday 7 February 2017 4:55

I just didn't realize John Wayne walked like that... #birdcagequotes

jcash52426 5

Tuesday 7 February 2017 5:46

Well I guess you don't like anal then.

Cali 54

Tuesday 7 February 2017 12:30

At least not on the receiving end...

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 7 February 2017 15:37

If he did, he wouldn't bother with a seat.

Cali 54

Wednesday 8 February 2017 10:53

Get there and "get there". Kill two birds with one stone!

trucker2 33

Tuesday 7 February 2017 6:42

Instead of telling them your bum hurts just tell them your thighs are chafed

species4872 19

Tuesday 7 February 2017 17:34

For all you people who doesn't know who John Wayne was he was a mostly western film actor from the 1950's 60's

tomvertigo 17

Wednesday 8 February 2017 21:00

Thank you, Mr. IMDB.

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The Top

Today, since I've been enduring a sore throat, I got Chloraseptic lozenges to finally get a bit of relief. When I put one in my mouth, I nearly choked on it. Imagine that: trying to soothe your throat, and you almost die by accidentally obstructing it instead. The irony almost hurts even more than my throat does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 121

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 396

Today, I received a phone call from my 91-year-old grandpa. He was lost driving somewhere in my town. I then spent the next few hours trying to teach him how to send his location until his phone died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 044

You deserved it 773

Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 126

Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 273

You deserved it 47 994

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 336

You deserved it 38 519

Today, my husband and I were lovingly holding hands on the couch. I'm not typically a cuddler, but I went with it… until he sneezed into his hands. This would of been fine, if my hand wasn't still coupled with his. His laugh suggested harmless fun. My drenched hand suggested murder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 172

Same thing different taste

This is how I roll

BIKES

Freakout!

Sorry!

Breaking the law (and bones)

Alexa, play "Fast Cars" by Buzzcocks

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