Health: Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going...

By thedogkisser - 06/06/2009 19:44 - United States

Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 091

You deserved it 84 189

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Same thing different taste

By ricard0 - 27/02/2014 20:58 - United States - Petaluma

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 065

You deserved it 6 143

By Addicted2FML303 - 06/12/2010 22:50 - United States

Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 771

You deserved it 5 265

By leeceetaylor99 - 15/07/2013 16:47 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 878

You deserved it 3 896

By anonamous - 12/03/2012 21:45 - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 162

You deserved it 9 122

By CheeseMonsters - 24/01/2010 12:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 479

You deserved it 3 438

By Anonymous - 15/12/2013 06:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 366

You deserved it 35 762

By violated ._. - 22/08/2013 22:45 - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 316

You deserved it 15 393

Classic move

By qyx3lmnop24 - 20/12/2014 07:33 - United States - Napa

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 417

You deserved it 5 091

By Anonymous - 26/02/2017 19:00 - United States - Shreveport

Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 750

You deserved it 2 024

By Anonymous - 08/02/2017 04:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 949

You deserved it 1 094

domestica 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 2:05

you can't lead a dog on like that and then get all offended when he gives you what you asked for

Vasir 2

Sunday 7 June 2009 2:01

HAHA Fail. You asked for it, bud.

Comments

Williii_fml 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 14:47

LOL!!@@!

blmred 0

Monday 23 November 2009 4:31

close ur mouth!!!!!!

BrutalFbomb 5

Friday 5 February 2010 9:47

Lolz gave of the day. you had it comin'. XD that's prolly the most action you'll ever get till after a few years after going thru puberty

shithppens2me 0

Monday 22 March 2010 15:12

2 effing funny

zachjack 0

Sunday 18 July 2010 21:27

dogs a playa!!!!!!

Rainbow_dumpster 28

Sunday 12 December 2010 20:14

WTF were you thinking,OP? Srsly, ppl like you m8k me barf.

kellandj2019 7

Wednesday 25 April 2012 0:20

You make me wanna barf. Besides, you are being stupid. Notice how she said "as a joke"?

KyraAlcor 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 15:20

haha that really is a fail I really hope you didn't shove yor tongue into his mouth for payback

tonnyfong 3

Friday 9 September 2011 6:54

Is the dog a natural tongue twister? Lol.

kahru1 9

Friday 18 November 2011 22:56

Don't be startin what ya can't finish boy

4x4master 3

Wednesday 25 January 2012 13:21

Must have left a good impression

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Racism Love Money My ex Harassment Work Accident Embarrassing AITA Am I overreacting? Religion Relatable Health Gifts LGBTQIA+ Annoying Inappropriate Teachers Education Animals Dogs Relationship advice Cats Cute Transportation Cars Friends Scams

The Top

Today, my boyfriend was helping me with my medications. While I called the pharmacy, I looked over and saw him making the pill bottles fight each other, with sound effects and funny voices. He's 33. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 415

Today, at work, I heard a weird sound coming from the ceiling. As I looked up to see what it was, a huge splash of water hit me in the face. I called mall maintenance to let them know. They told me they already knew about the leak… from the sewage line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 936

You deserved it 2 295

The Top

Today, I decided to adopt a 11 year old dog that has been in need of a home for several months. Two hours after I got him home, I discovered him dead in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 766

You deserved it 3 993

Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 179

You deserved it 41 249

Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said, "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 712

You deserved it 16 744

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 586

You deserved it 6 697

Today, it's my long-anticipated 21st birthday! Today also happens to be the first day of my period. I've spent the whole morning in the fetal position with agonizing cramps, reduced to tears, and whimpering while the painkiller refuses to kick in. Happy birthday! Love, my uterus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 626

You deserved it 9 294

Today, I stepped out of the kitchen to yell at my kids for running in the house. I had just mopped the floor, and did not want them to fall. I fell while yelling and twisted my ankle. At least they know it's dangerous now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 334

You deserved it 9 581

Same thing different taste

Classic move

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