Kids: Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/07/2011 18:03 - United States

Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 543

You deserved it 8 560

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Same thing different taste

By YAABOIII - 05/04/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, the 7 year old boy I was babysitting studied my upper lip and said "It's okay, my daddy won't let me shave yet either." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 219

You deserved it 8 808

Threat

By fuck you, kid - 16/07/2014 18:56 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 351

You deserved it 4 015

By Missyangel - 31/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 376

You deserved it 11 458

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 992

You deserved it 4 772

By amiliaroberts123 - 15/10/2012 00:45 - United States - Raphine

Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 344

You deserved it 8 934

By lamponau - 09/11/2008 11:26 - France

Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 6 179

What up big pimps?

By Anonymous - 05/05/2023 12:00

Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 198

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 037

You deserved it 6 860

Damian?

By Anonymous - 16/09/2019 06:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 228

You deserved it 116

Dat ass

By brandonborgie - 10/08/2021 04:01 - Australia

Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 126

Next

Top comments

mk58 31

Wednesday 20 July 2011 0:04

You're like his bitch.

Mi24hind 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 0:10

I see a pimp in the making

Comments

adropofpeace 8

Wednesday 20 July 2011 5:29

Yes, my soul is at ease. Except I spelled a word like 'curious' wrong so I sort of feel the need to put myself to sleep.

DeepDownThere 3

Wednesday 20 July 2011 5:29

Creeping and taking a Cleveland Steamer straight up just gets me so hot. I love it when a woman takes control. Ke$ha needs to come over right now. Yeah.

yankeebaceball 1

Wednesday 20 July 2011 5:31

clearly your fault lol wanna be my GF??

Iamnotmyself 17

Wednesday 20 July 2011 5:31

-171 I remember when my grandmas soul was at rest... Then she met my bf and had a heart attack. HAHAHA TROLOLOL

DeepDownThere 3

Wednesday 20 July 2011 5:33

My god. That was simply marvelous. Like a ******** from a toothless, aging homeless man. You are a clever woman you know that. Yeah.... I'm done now. I'm gonna go get drunk.

Iamnotmyself 17

Wednesday 20 July 2011 5:34

-172 I can be you Ke$ha

dearbarn 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 5:34

spank that ass

Dudelike89 8

Wednesday 20 July 2011 11:46

V-10 challenger. Nice.

adropofpeace 8

Wednesday 20 July 2011 5:35

174, I'd pay attention to what you just said but I'm enjoying watch DeepDownThere get moderated repeatedly.

kingcamo 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 5:35

ha that's ******* awsome

Iamnotmyself 17

Wednesday 20 July 2011 5:36

-179 I agree, I about killed myself laughing

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Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Am I overreacting? Love Social Media Facebook AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 999

You deserved it 7 513

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 5 265

The Top

Today, I was talking to this guy I like. He's very private and hides all his photos and wall posts on Facebook. Or so I thought, turns out he has me on a restricted friends list, titled "Creepers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 292

You deserved it 26 887

Today, my mom said if I dont get straight A's in my classes this year, she'll get the school to hold me back until I do. I believe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 514

You deserved it 2 515

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 474

You deserved it 8 534

Today, my dad still refuses to repay the loan I gave him. I've just barely managed to pay my bills, and I'm now so poor that I'll have to survive the next 3 days until my next paycheck by eating the only thing left in my fridge: a jar of cheese whiz. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 916

You deserved it 3 649

Today, I watched the love of my life look me straight in the eye and lie to me with well-practised ease about where she spent last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 483

You deserved it 514

Today, my coworker made up a story about me “sexually harassing” her and filed a complaint to my boss. All because I took the last plastic spoon from the breakroom, and she couldn’t eat her yogurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 91