Miscellaneous: Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a...

By Anonymous - 12/10/2010 15:06 - United States

Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 768

You deserved it 44 812

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By yuck - 21/06/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I was in the basement at my grandma's house. The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement. I looked through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on. A pair of shitty underpants came down and landed in my face. They were my grandma's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 246

You deserved it 12 458

By kha - 24/03/2009 10:18 - United States

Today, I decided to surprise-visit my grandparents. After knocking on the door and not getting a response, I opened it and walked in. Upon entering their house and yelling, "Hello", as I turned the corner I saw my near-deaf grandmother folding clothes while watching TV. She was topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 303

You deserved it 15 151

Arse!

By Anonymous - 09/09/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. She was looking for the remote, blindly trying to put her hand into the sofa. Instead, she shoved her hand down the back of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 236

By Anonymous - 23/09/2009 10:23 - Singapore

Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 411

You deserved it 38 115

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 378

You deserved it 659

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 07:45 - Australia - College Park

Today, I got jumpscared, by my freshly-bathed grandma coming out of the bathroom without a towel on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 721

You deserved it 1 541

Let's get you home Grandma

By Ima_Moronski - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 814

You deserved it 7 217

By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 17:44 - United Kingdom - Saint Leonards

Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 597

You deserved it 7 243

These must be yours

By Anonymous - 14/09/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, I was doing laundry when my downstairs neighbour knocked on my door and handed me some knickers. Apparently, it had flown off the clothesline and landed on his head while he was sweeping outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 106

By johnboy - 09/11/2010 17:08 - United States

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 835

You deserved it 37 146

rigorouswolf 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 19:14

is she alive?

rockclimber919 11

Tuesday 12 October 2010 19:14

what, are you like ten?

Comments

Vlakyy 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 20:32

It's okay, she probably liked it =P

cjgqsmooth 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 20:35

did she kick your ass? cuz you know old ladies be packin the pepper spray

CrazyManNo9 29

Tuesday 12 October 2010 20:36

WTH do we have to have juvies on this site, anyway?

imright24 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 20:37

Shouldn't you be practicing simple addition or something? Idiot.

christa953 12

Tuesday 12 October 2010 20:45

ydi for being seven

Richisme 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 21:11

I would have rolled her over and pretended to be her chiropracter.

Attacksloth 33

Tuesday 12 October 2010 21:16

Someone's going to get the wooden spoon...

gigilvrs6 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 21:23

This is why I show sympathy to grannies. Their idiot grandson's friends love to rape them.

Niki27x 2

Tuesday 12 October 2010 21:39

I laughed at this, but isn't climbing on their shelves a bit rude....

MissGrinch 4

Tuesday 12 October 2010 21:42

What? I thought that was MY job...

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 831

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Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 187

You deserved it 20 275

Today, after I had filled up my car and got into it I saw a cute guy running towards me. I flashed a smile and left the door open and said, "Hey" when he was next to me. He said, "The pump is still attached to your car, you really should be more careful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 397

You deserved it 46 641

Today, my boss became very angry over her own mistake on a spreadsheet. She lashed out by throwing a can of SpaghettiOs at my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 926

You deserved it 2 632

Today, my mother moved in to my 2-bedroom apartment with me. She brought her boyfriend, 4 chihuahuas, and 2 birds with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 853

You deserved it 5 106

Today, was my sixteenth birthday. I was hoping to get a car. Instead, my parents got me a 3 month membership at the gym so I can lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 501

You deserved it 55 829

Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 136

You deserved it 6 469