Transportation: Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped...

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 21:26 - United Kingdom

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 694

You deserved it 3 448

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By carson28 - 17/12/2010 02:23 - United States

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 226

You deserved it 6 352

You OK dude?

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 71

By Anonymous - 18/02/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 058

You deserved it 2 457

By WamBamSam - 21/11/2012 09:54 - United Kingdom - Kidderminster

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 097

You deserved it 2 356

By Jessy - 14/10/2011 11:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 188

You deserved it 2 781

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 09:04 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 311

You deserved it 4 876

By jackpot - 09/05/2011 01:53 - Venezuela

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 456

You deserved it 3 020

By Jehovah God - 07/03/2014 18:51 - United States - Richmond

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 380

You deserved it 3 614

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 698

You deserved it 3 927

Bashed

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 809

You deserved it 143

crumsnatcha 4

Friday 9 October 2009 2:00

At least you weren't riding a motorcycle.

MoonyIce 0

Friday 9 October 2009 1:55

Aaaand that. That there is one of the funniest things I've read all damn day. Thank you.

Comments

MiniatureMayhem 0

Friday 9 October 2009 22:11

Why does the Lord need praise? Does he have self-esteem issues?

railfan_fml 0

Friday 9 October 2009 22:25

mnemic, it's because he just finished taking a dump in it.

mrmidi 0

Friday 9 October 2009 23:32

Holy Shit!

Turner81 0

Friday 9 October 2009 23:48

LOFL!!!!HOLY SHIZ I would have ran his ass over!!! Or be to stunned!!!

dminorchord 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 0:02

I don't believe that for a second.

MissKia 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 0:28

Hahaha! That's the funniest thing!! Ha, just made my day. :)

letthemxeatcake 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 0:33

Maybe the shit was holy.

silly_kate 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 3:08

LMAO!!!!!!!!! please admit you pissed yourself laughing afterwards! that would be hilarious!

Noamfer 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 2:57

I admit it

k_a_r_a_n 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 6:08

Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lmao

cmgio 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 9:53

Again. Why is this bad? That is an AWESOME story.

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 712

Today, my wedding limo driver got high and forgot to pick us up, so the photographers gave us a ride back to the venue from the photo shoot. Three bridesmaids, a flower girl, and I, in my full wedding dress, had to fit in the back of the 1997 Toyota Camry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 644

You deserved it 390

The Top

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 468

You deserved it 3 631

Today, I learned that not only am I pregnant, I'm too far along for an abortion. My husband and I originally bonded over the fact that we both hate children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 705

You deserved it 29 495

Today, most people don’t realize how relaxing it is to poop on an indoor toilet. As in, being able to do your business in peace without having to keep mosquitoes from landing on your private parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 116

Today, I submitted my big assignment to my teacher at 1:55pm. The deadline was 2pm. She rejected it, because her watch read a few minutes after 2pm, and she maintains that the time on her watch is the "real" time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 888

You deserved it 13 068

Today, I started the conversation where I intended to confess to my crush that I like her. I first asked her if she liked me. She asked me to define my terms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 271

Today, I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 627

You deserved it 37 130

Same thing different taste

You OK dude?

Bashed

Top comments

Comments