Love: Today, while driving home with my parents. I pretended to be...

By Joel_mama - 27/07/2009 01:12 - New Zealand

Today, while driving home with my parents. I pretended to be asleep so mum wouldn't talk to me. They then took this time to describe what they were going to do to each other when they got home. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 014

You deserved it 20 796

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

ur mom gay

By Anonymous - 02/05/2018 01:30

Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 311

You deserved it 724

This is happening

By mikmak - 20/12/2015 13:26 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 571

You deserved it 3 126

Make it stop, please

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 125

By Solemnwishing - 13/07/2009 18:33 - United States

Today, while riding on the car with my family, I put on my headphones and pretended to be listening to music and when my parents talked to me, I pretended I couldn't hear them. They took this opportunity to discuss how fat I was and how I can't hold down a boyfriend. They were laughing as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 649

You deserved it 22 471

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 22:23 - United States

Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 156

You deserved it 4 855

By W1D0 - 20/08/2011 06:23 - United States

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 093

You deserved it 5 029

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 643

You deserved it 45 065

By Anonymous - 20/01/2013 02:55 - Canada

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 798

You deserved it 9 699

By monquiqui - 04/07/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 105

You deserved it 3 925

By Anonymous - 07/02/2016 06:11 - United States - Murfreesboro

Today, barely 2 hours into a 5 hour car ride home, my mom accidentally let slip that she's been cheating on my dad. I had to sit with the bitch in a diner for ages while my dad bawled his eyes out alone in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 746

You deserved it 1 663

silverx10 0

Monday 27 July 2009 9:15

And this is why it pays to pretend with headphones on.

michelle4srs 0

Monday 27 July 2009 9:18

Right when they started you should have pretended to wake up and made a loud noise to let them know.

Comments

silverx10 0

Monday 27 July 2009 9:15

And this is why it pays to pretend with headphones on.

sublime93 0

Monday 27 July 2009 16:03

Oh nooo, your parents have sex, what a horrible thing. Grow up. (Trolltrolltrolltroll)

Layneebby 0

Monday 27 July 2009 17:14

@46. Yes his parents have sex, i'm sure he knows this. But _NO_ONE_ wants to know what their parents do when they have sex. No one wants to hear about it or hear it. Would you?

thabeast 0

Monday 27 July 2009 18:03

which is why you yawn loudly and see if they stop

fed_life 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 7:13

ive seen this exact same FML... get a new story

yehr 0

Monday 30 November 2009 9:48

ewww but no one wants to hear about how their dad's going to mouthwash with their mum's ******.. YEKK!!!!! LMAO!!!

yehr 0

Monday 30 November 2009 9:51

you should have pretended to wake up asap!!

iLIAMMM 0

Monday 27 July 2009 9:15

Did you get a boner?

ReasonsToFly 0

Monday 27 July 2009 9:59

Oh geez, I lol'd. Good show, sir.

Mosswine 2

Monday 27 July 2009 22:44

#2 He totally did. I know it.

justcallmeWiLLiA 0

Friday 24 June 2011 1:10

I wouldve embarrassed them about it later;(

Neonnight 0

Friday 7 October 2011 2:49

Good thing to do

michelle4srs 0

Monday 27 July 2009 9:18

Right when they started you should have pretended to wake up and made a loud noise to let them know.

simplyn2deep 2

Monday 27 July 2009 9:27

that's exactly what I would have done...lest I spend hours rocking back & forth in my room willing myself to stay awake so I wouldn't PICTURE what they were describing!

Crunchy_fml 0

Monday 27 July 2009 9:29

The OP was probably too shocked when this started, and by the time he thought of that it was already too late.

sophiepento 0

Monday 27 July 2009 9:56

True. This is probably the funniest FML ive seen in a while.

Heaven666 0

Monday 27 July 2009 12:53

lol love that reply... xD, but use alcohol to help when your eyes are open

curryndricegirll 0

Monday 27 July 2009 20:32

Sounds to me like her mom already knew and was doing it on purpose so that she would "wake up". Once she wakes up, she has to talk to her mom.

I_ate_pikachu 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 18:07

No, at least she knows her parents love each other. xD

americayay 0

Monday 27 July 2009 9:21

And you didn't "wake up"? Kind of creepy. You so wanted to hear it.

curlyfriez 0

Monday 27 July 2009 9:36

haha he so did!!! i mean if he was "sleeping" he could of like moved so they could shut up.

_Noon_ 0

Monday 27 July 2009 10:30

That's what I was thinking. He could've easily faked waking up, so there's only one reason that he didn't.. It totally turned him on!

abetterday 4

Monday 27 July 2009 9:25

YDI for being allergic to fur

drinkupgorgeous 0

Monday 27 July 2009 9:30

what the ****?

Tobe_fml 0

Monday 27 July 2009 10:13

Lmao, you win #5

matt5217 4

Thursday 15 April 2010 2:05

you make nooooooo sense

LiliLatte 15

Tuesday 8 July 2014 5:21

Boots with the fur?

corsmore 0

Monday 27 July 2009 9:38

I'd get out my cell phone and pretend to call someone and start doing the same, and see how they liked it.

poopymonsters 0

Monday 27 July 2009 9:39

whats a diarrhea?

SimpleSimon 0

Monday 27 July 2009 10:07

It's a special time in a young man's life...

failwhatwhat 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 18:10

i believe its an old old wooden ship, made during the civil war era

Maxwellminpin 19

Wednesday 17 February 2016 3:51

Search it on google images

uj_fml 4

Monday 27 July 2009 9:41

Umm you could've pretended to wake up. YDI for putting up with it.

highonlife77 0

Monday 27 July 2009 9:42

SEXY

pingpongdj 0

Monday 27 July 2009 9:44

i think i read a similar fml some time ago, except instead the parents were discussing how fat the author was or something. not saying this is fake though. why didn't you wake up? once they started you should've been able to tell what they were talking about and immediately woke up instead of still lieing there "asleep". unless you actually wanted to hear it, which makes this not an fml.