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By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:03 - United States - Demorest

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 058

You deserved it 3 910

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Same thing different taste

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 450

You deserved it 4 064

Hiking is so much fun!

By Sacho - 24/10/2019 20:00

Today, 4 miles into a mountain hike with my crush, I suddenly felt a stomach pain, followed by the urge for explosive diarrhea. I had to stand still with my butt clenched to prevent shitting myself. There were no nearby bathrooms, and I didn't have any toilet paper. It was messy. She'll never see me the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 806

You deserved it 173

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 2 096

Like a dog

By Jick - 26/02/2023 14:00

Today, I was outside when I was suddenly overcome by an intense need to shit. The back door was locked, so I tried to run to the front, but couldn't make it. As I squatted in the bushes, my girlfriend came home unexpectedly. She screamed and called me a sick, disgusting freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 296

By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 734

You deserved it 17 294

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 464

You deserved it 8 870

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 492

You deserved it 4 815

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 312

You deserved it 7 535

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 519

You deserved it 67 474

The trumpets of doom

By Anonymous - 15/12/2024 15:00 - Belgium - Merendree

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 95

dirton89 7

Sunday 27 January 2013 15:57

FYL but hey...you gotta do what you gotta do. She understands hopefully

sleepinginclass 8

Sunday 27 January 2013 17:00

You were fine until you said to spray axe.

Comments

lucianaamelia 21

Sunday 27 January 2013 16:11

It's not like she doesn't poo! Oh wait ladies don't poo!

Artsygirl90 14

Sunday 27 January 2013 16:13

Turn it into a free pass. Next embarrassing thing that happens to her promise to turn the other cheek.

shan88 14

Sunday 27 January 2013 16:30

FYL op. I hope she is understanding. It's an uncontrollable bodily function. You can't be blamed for that

DocBastard 38

Sunday 27 January 2013 16:30

Remember this, and remember it well - EVERYONE POOPS. Yes, even women. And everyone grunts and strains every now and then. So get back on that horse, cowboy.

windfuelsfire 10

Sunday 27 January 2013 16:48

Hey at least you didn't crap all over her. THEN you wouldnt be able to seduce her. If she's not a prude close minded bitch, shell appreciate your swift reaction and laugh at the situation with you after! :)

OhhhMaryy 12

Sunday 27 January 2013 22:49

Wise words :)

doritowhore 9

Sunday 27 January 2013 17:07

Hopefully she's a little more mature than that and realizes that, sorry, it's a natural part of being a human. If she can't handle that then good luck in life to her.

Maria_Obligacia 14

Sunday 27 January 2013 17:19

If she does not already know that everybody poops, something is really wrong with her. Don't fret it, OP. You need a real woman, not a stuck up princess anyways.