Animals: Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our...

By Anonymous - 30/04/2014 05:17 - United States - Muncy

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 847

You deserved it 6 162

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Tallulah - 29/07/2011 06:56 - United Kingdom

Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 443

You deserved it 6 568

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 084

You deserved it 8 762

By hannamacintosh - 25/07/2016 14:13 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I told my husband that I think he has ADHD. He was offended and began to argue, then he got distracted by a dog outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 866

You deserved it 1 655

Good boy

By This may take awhile - 30/11/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, after a serious argument with my friend about how his dog seems to hate me for no reason, I decided that it's my responsibility to show his dog that I mean no harm. I started off by giving him his favorite treat. He got excited and practically inhaled it… then started barking at me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 171

Argument ender

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was arguing with my girlfriend when my dog brought me a squeaky toy and tried shoving it into my hand so I could throw it for him. Out of habit, I grabbed it, but then it squeaked every time I tried to make a serious point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 408

By Sammy - 25/02/2013 07:25 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 204

You deserved it 4 650

Masterchef

By Anonymous - 21/08/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 162

Hmmm, steak

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 11:01

Today, my husband and I cooked our first dinner of the year, some grilled steak. The moment we turned our backs to put out the fire, the dog snatched half of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 986

Clever boy

By Lisa87 - 21/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 94

Kamikaze

By Hot Dog - 29/12/2022 09:00

Today, my dog was cold, so she kept sitting around the oven. When I opened it to put my pizza in, she hopped into it. The massive yelp of pain as she did so is going to haunt my dreams… and my financial stability. Even the vet has no idea how she's still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 237

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 30 April 2014 18:12

This is really an FtDL (**** the Dogs Life)

SundayNightSix 23

Wednesday 30 April 2014 18:12

What I want to know is why the hell the "hot oven door" was able to be licked.. If he just walked over while you were still using it, then I feel more sorry for the dog that you left the hot oven open.. =/

Comments

robertmil90 10

Friday 2 May 2014 2:18

awesome lol

BaldoktheMystic 3

Friday 2 May 2014 4:50

He has the height of derp?

waynesworld21 5

Friday 2 May 2014 8:16

Most people wouldn't let their dog anywhere near an oven because it could potentially harm them, and also dogs have no idea what the hell an oven is or that it is hot! You two are the ones with intellectual problems, you cold hearted ass holes!

MarbleMel 2

Saturday 3 May 2014 2:03

You don't give a dog away just cause it isn't smart!

ibanghellokitty 8

Saturday 3 May 2014 23:15

Poor pup.. ):

fantasyworld 37

Monday 5 May 2014 1:36

He doesn't know what an oven is. He just smelled food.

Rolloplaysdrums 5

Wednesday 14 May 2014 20:00

What if your child had intelligence issues? :(

Pikachu106 4

Sunday 8 June 2014 11:20

A pet is like a child. It doesn't know any better. Don't give the poor thing away.

PinkiePiePony 19

Thursday 19 June 2014 3:46

My golden retriever had intelligence issues at first ( and still has a few). She used to always get her head stuck in our gate and she would pull off the gate and run around the yard with it stuck on her head. I have no idea how she was able fit her head in the gate.

Morgana666 6

Tuesday 3 February 2015 16:45

must be a lab lol. My lab is stupid beyond all reason. My ex tried to make ms get rid of the dog. I told him that he had a place to go, the dog didn't and that was my answer. One of the many reasons he is an ex now. I still have the dog and love him to pieces.