Animals: Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our...

By Anonymous - 30/04/2014 05:17 - United States - Muncy

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 848

You deserved it 6 162

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Same thing different taste

By Tallulah - 29/07/2011 06:56 - United Kingdom

Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 445

You deserved it 6 568

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 094

You deserved it 8 772

By hannamacintosh - 25/07/2016 14:13 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I told my husband that I think he has ADHD. He was offended and began to argue, then he got distracted by a dog outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 870

You deserved it 1 658

Good boy

By This may take awhile - 30/11/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, after a serious argument with my friend about how his dog seems to hate me for no reason, I decided that it's my responsibility to show his dog that I mean no harm. I started off by giving him his favorite treat. He got excited and practically inhaled it… then started barking at me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 174

Argument ender

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was arguing with my girlfriend when my dog brought me a squeaky toy and tried shoving it into my hand so I could throw it for him. Out of habit, I grabbed it, but then it squeaked every time I tried to make a serious point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 412

By Sammy - 25/02/2013 07:25 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 211

You deserved it 4 655

Masterchef

By Anonymous - 21/08/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 164

Hmmm, steak

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 11:01

Today, my husband and I cooked our first dinner of the year, some grilled steak. The moment we turned our backs to put out the fire, the dog snatched half of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 991

Clever boy

By Lisa87 - 21/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 95

Kamikaze

By Hot Dog - 29/12/2022 09:00

Today, my dog was cold, so she kept sitting around the oven. When I opened it to put my pizza in, she hopped into it. The massive yelp of pain as she did so is going to haunt my dreams… and my financial stability. Even the vet has no idea how she's still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 526

You deserved it 239

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 30 April 2014 18:12

This is really an FtDL (**** the Dogs Life)

SundayNightSix 23

Wednesday 30 April 2014 18:12

What I want to know is why the hell the "hot oven door" was able to be licked.. If he just walked over while you were still using it, then I feel more sorry for the dog that you left the hot oven open.. =/

Comments

Musiclover1482 9

Wednesday 30 April 2014 22:27

Even if the dog was smart you should still keep an eye on it. Stupid or smart if you don't have time to care for a dog than don't get one. They are just like children and need supervision.

TheCrispyCat 20

Wednesday 30 April 2014 22:43

You can't give him away. More people will realize his issue and it will be a cycle of new owner's for him, which will **** him up even more mentally.

Mackay92 14

Wednesday 30 April 2014 23:15

Don't have a baby with him...Who knows he might want to get rid of the kid because it doesn't know how to clean and change itself

ViviMage 39

Wednesday 30 April 2014 23:26

Not a dumb dog. It probably smelled food and never realized ovens are hot. Course, if you want a dumb dog, our male beagle used to wee in the oven if we left it open to get the cookies out!! Cooked his foot and the pee flavoring/smell didn't really enhance the cookies!

Sniper_Chick4110 20

Thursday 1 May 2014 0:29

There are no stupid dogs, only stupid owners.

ThePez828 18

Thursday 1 May 2014 0:37

...but not even the smartest dog would think, "Hmmm. The oven smells good but it's hot so I'll leave it alone." That has nothing to do with intelligence.

Witchylady 17

Thursday 1 May 2014 1:17

Is the dog ok?

TheSexyBurrito 13

Thursday 1 May 2014 1:29

What, it's not normal to lick the inside of an oven?

juwannaman 11

Thursday 1 May 2014 1:46

Poor dog. Why didn't you leave the oven open. And that doesn't mean he's stupid or lacking in intelligence. They don't have ovens in the wild

MrZsDad 19

Thursday 1 May 2014 2:13

**** that, get rid of the husband. Chances are that pup will end up in a pound and euthanized. At least hubby can fend for himself, it is to be hoped.