Miscellaneous: Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped...

By Jehovah God - 07/03/2014 18:51 - United States - Richmond

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 380

You deserved it 3 614

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Same thing different taste

Angry much?

By NeedANewWindshield - 24/08/2019 14:00

Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 618

You deserved it 97

Make yourself at home

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 20:26 - United States

Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 143

You deserved it 2 505

By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 007

You deserved it 53 188

By webperson04 - 27/07/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 424

You deserved it 3 605

By Anonymous - 12/10/2018 14:00

Today, I was at the park and needed to take a piss really badly. I opened my car door and stood to pee, but good old Mother Nature ran by and the wind blew it all into my car. My entire driver side smells like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 3 857

By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 18:32 - Norway

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 445

You deserved it 3 357

By Anonymous - 10/05/2014 13:00 - United States

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 987

You deserved it 3 774

By WamBamSam - 21/11/2012 09:54 - United Kingdom - Kidderminster

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 097

You deserved it 2 356

By Sean - 01/05/2013 04:44 - Canada - L'assomption

Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 113

You deserved it 12 198

Get off my hood

By Anonymous - 03/01/2016 23:00 - United States - Kennett Square

Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 465

You deserved it 1 271

Bzu123 8

Saturday 8 March 2014 1:33

you should have ran him over

bertyogurt 7

Saturday 8 March 2014 1:48

Yeah! Commit homicide! That'll show that rude ******!

Comments

gregorygreg87 12

Sunday 9 March 2014 9:45

Should've hit him

rockfivo 7

Sunday 9 March 2014 10:51

Wait !!! Impressive... He actually reached your windshield from the roadway in "front" of your car?!!!

xMykiss 11

Sunday 9 March 2014 11:03

You should've peed on him maybe he'll like it?

Metallica_Fan 4

Monday 10 March 2014 5:14

Quit knocking on his front door then. Look I know this will get a lot of dislikes, but I couldn't resist...

mkayden 23

Monday 10 March 2014 20:43

It's raining piss hallelujaaah

1947Chevy 17

Thursday 13 March 2014 1:16

Should have turned on the wipers

darkfireflame 15

Saturday 15 March 2014 11:15

I think you could have run him over and called it defense of your property.

MrZsDad 19

Wednesday 19 March 2014 9:45

At least you had sense to not blare your horn and scare the shit out of him too.

shea2323 2

Friday 21 March 2014 11:17

Wut

Krb1995 5

Sunday 23 March 2014 21:24

Murica'

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I wrote a submission to FML and I realized that I could be doing so much more with my life than this. I mean really, I have real life stuff to deal with, and I don't have the time to be reading these s*itposts, much less making my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 512

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 635

You deserved it 42 712

The Top

Today, I was taking the train home from another unsuccessful job interview. As I was sitting there, I felt the urge to yawn, but before I could raise my hand to cover my mouth some guy stuck his finger in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 959

You deserved it 2 060

Today, the guy who got off when the elevator's doors opened had a very embarrassed look on his face. I didn't think anything of it till the doors closed. Turns out he was running away from his deadly fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 446

You deserved it 3 088

Today, I drank half a bottle of tequila and had an edible within 30 minutes. I couldn't remember a thing until this morning when my roommates told me I pissed myself on the couch, projectile vomited in the living room, and went on to fondle my roommates, who also had to help me shower. I have a designated seat on the couch now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 1 939

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 536

You deserved it 5 374

Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 226

You deserved it 29 356

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 802

You deserved it 4 154

Same thing different taste

Angry much?

Make yourself at home

Get off my hood

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