Embarrassing, Alcohol, Roommate and Drugs: Sobering

Sobering

By Anonymous - 23/02/2022 02:59

Today, I drank half a bottle of tequila and had an edible within 30 minutes. I couldn't remember a thing until this morning when my roommates told me I pissed myself on the couch, projectile vomited in the living room, and went on to fondle my roommates, who also had to help me shower. I have a designated seat on the couch now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 1 917

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Same thing different taste

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 124

You deserved it 46 972

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 3 703

Painful

By stupid drunk bitch - 24/02/2016 18:37 - United States - Cobleskill

Today, my roommate made out with this guy I kind of had a thing for. It wasn't a big deal to sober me, but drunk me wasn't having it. I drank half a bottle of vodka, punched a hole in a wall, and cried while laying on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 532

You deserved it 5 500

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 16:39 - United States

Today, my roommate and I invited a few girls over to our dorm for a small party. We started to play a drinking game, and I attempted to chug three beers in two minutes. My stomach wouldn't have that, and I spewed up bright red chunks everywhere and on everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 071

You deserved it 44 840

Chain reaction

By Anonymous - 03/05/2023 13:30 - Australia

Today, I got drunk and spewed all over my lounge room floor. My dog ate it up, also got drunk, and also eventually spewed on the floor too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 1 125

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 629

You deserved it 34 418

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 2 069

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 982

You deserved it 2 363

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 670

You deserved it 8 841

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 809

You deserved it 2 834

poopface82 19

Wednesday 23 February 2022 3:29

Didn’t anyone ever tell you to pace yourself with this stuff?

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 23 February 2022 5:58

Is that the spot that's the best spot for the breeze and at the perfect viewing angle of the TV? And marked with a huge piss stain?

Comments

poopface82 19

Wednesday 23 February 2022 3:29

Didn’t anyone ever tell you to pace yourself with this stuff?

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 23 February 2022 5:58

Is that the spot that's the best spot for the breeze and at the perfect viewing angle of the TV? And marked with a huge piss stain?

mccuish 25

Wednesday 23 February 2022 8:54

Makes me wonder what the hell you were thinking

JasonThorn 20

Friday 25 February 2022 4:06

I don't think there was much "thinking" involved.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Wednesday 23 February 2022 14:01

Missing details from this story: You're 28, You're an Ivy League graduate, This happens every Friday, Your roommates think you're so pathetic they make you sit on the couch like a kid on the naughty step instead of kicking you out for what is essentially sexual assault and property damage.

DanielleinDC 33

Thursday 24 February 2022 15:23

Anything that starts with someone drinking themselves into oblivion and getting high is an automatic YDI. Maybe bring your consumption down a few notches so you don't puke and pee all over the place and to avoid sexually assaulting a roommate.