Miscellaneous: Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonald's, I found out...

By Anonymous - 08/10/2011 16:00 - United States

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonald's, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 888

You deserved it 7 980

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Same thing different taste

By bglenney - 15/08/2013 09:47 - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 941

You deserved it 4 191

PTSD

By I have Flashbacks Now - 10/11/2016 21:15 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 413

You deserved it 911

Go big or go home

By kinwar - 27/09/2021 07:01 - United States - Hamburg

Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 126

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 395

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 16:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 838

You deserved it 5 530

Faulty plumbing

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 113

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 140

Too trusting

By Anonymous - 07/09/2023 08:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 186

By monkers - 06/10/2012 07:12 - Canada - Westlock

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 264

You deserved it 1 781

Procrastination

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 118

You deserved it 16 740

rainbowbabe_907 5

Saturday 8 October 2011 19:51

Damn, wish I could do that.

RoseCrystal 17

Saturday 8 October 2011 19:51

um.....well done?

Comments

durkagihad 12

Saturday 8 October 2011 21:15

Sounds painful, physically and mentally..

isaac713 0

Saturday 8 October 2011 21:33

would u like a shake wit tht combo? (of shit,piss,nd germs)

ScreamingSkullz9 0

Saturday 8 October 2011 21:45

C-c-c-c-combo breaker

nikl 6

Saturday 8 October 2011 21:48

I was expecting that to happen when your were eating mcdonalds

deviable 9

Saturday 8 October 2011 21:51

But can you walk and chew gum at the same time?

Darkus_Vader 0

Saturday 8 October 2011 21:55

Thanks for the extra sauce on my Big Mac

koirules 4

Saturday 8 October 2011 22:01

Was it 'a little bit fancy' ?

LostSaiyan 3

Saturday 8 October 2011 22:02

Can throw shuffling in that combo as well?

RazorbacksHogs13 0

Saturday 8 October 2011 22:02

Ummm..altightt!!! Hahahaha!!! World record book!!!!! Hahahaha

ryan13157 0

Saturday 8 October 2011 22:20

ydi for going to mcdonalds

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 2 714

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 300

You deserved it 14 749

The Top

Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 694

You deserved it 3 234

Today, my mom went into a full war against dirt and plastic-wrapped our entire house. The floor, furniture, even our feet now have to be covered in plastic. Everything squeaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 582

You deserved it 254

Today, my husband and I found out that our daughter's chronic stomach aches are due to gluten intolerance, so we need to cut all wheat out of our diet. We're bakers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 392

You deserved it 3 103

Today, I woke myself up by pinching my nipple between my elbow and the bed. This isn’t the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 74

Today, I returned to work after two weeks of vacation without a working phone. While I was gone, a beloved former colleague died, two Court hearings got postponed because nobody could find the proof the documents were sent to the other party, and half the office went on vacation. Oh yeah, and my grandma died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795