Miscellaneous: Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonald's, I found out... - FML

By Anonymous - 08/10/2011 16:00 - United States

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonald's, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 884

You deserved it 7 980

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By bglenney - 15/08/2013 09:47 - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 934

You deserved it 4 190

PTSD

By I have Flashbacks Now - 10/11/2016 21:15 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 409

You deserved it 911

Go big or go home

By kinwar - 27/09/2021 07:01 - United States - Hamburg

Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 126

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 386

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 16:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 835

You deserved it 5 529

Faulty plumbing

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 111

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 139

Too trusting

By Anonymous - 07/09/2023 08:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 185

By monkers - 06/10/2012 07:12 - Canada - Westlock

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 261

You deserved it 1 779

Procrastination

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 112

You deserved it 16 738

Next

Top comments

rainbowbabe_907 5

Saturday 8 October 2011 19:51

Damn, wish I could do that.

RoseCrystal 17

Saturday 8 October 2011 19:51

um.....well done?

Comments

My_Nightmare 19

Saturday 8 October 2011 23:13

Was there a long line and you wanted to clear the entire restaurant so that you could get your food faster? I'll bet it worked

rattusrattus 18

Saturday 8 October 2011 23:13

You should go on TV with that talent. -.-

damnthosemonkeys 0

Saturday 8 October 2011 23:15

Lmao that's amazing

cutiepiejkl 0

Saturday 8 October 2011 23:17

That is nasty!!! I hope nobody noticed I have burped and farted at the same time!!!

punkin_26 16

Monday 10 October 2011 19:01

Wow that just doesn't seem possible. At the exact same time?

The_Great_Zucchi 15

Saturday 8 October 2011 23:23

Always keep pushing your boundaries, good on you!

Furry_dude 6

Saturday 8 October 2011 23:24

Ummm............godbless you?

tinkerbell1518 0

Saturday 8 October 2011 23:27

ewww that's gross! but cool lol!

NoogetySensation 0

Saturday 8 October 2011 23:29

It could be worse...... you could be black

citymayer 7

Saturday 8 October 2011 23:31

I'm sorry.

mikechek 3

Saturday 8 October 2011 23:32

the Trifecta very nice the only thing left for u to learn is to add vomit in the mix then all your holes would be covered but wait u need stuff coming out of ur ears as well get to work

5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14

Keywords

Money Scams Food Parents Relatable Health Growing old Love Lonely Games Miscellaneous Work Cheating Weird Awkward Romantic Birthday Sex Intimacy Ironic Shopping Embarrassing Sexting Porn Confused Restaurants Cute Family Kids Music

The Top

Today, my wife screamed and threatened to leave me… again. She does this about once a year, in response to an argument that she feels frustrated by. We have three amazing children and we're mostly happy in between these outbursts. Today she did it in front of our 6 year-old, who is now crying about our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 140

It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 11

The Top

Today, traffic was so bad that I was able to connect to the WiFi of a nearby McDonald's and successfully listen to a 30-minute podcast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 892

You deserved it 1 446

Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 223

You deserved it 244

Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 906

You deserved it 17 044

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because I got a haircut without asking for his permission first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 110

Today, I moved in with an older gentleman renting out a room. Tonight, he had a domestic dispute with his girlfriend, who threw a lawn chair at my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 137

You deserved it 2 354

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 737

You deserved it 7 565