By Anonymous - 10/07/2012 16:43 - Canada

Spicy
Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though, he's "not a rapist." FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 265
You deserved it 2 459

Same thing different taste

Comments

At least you have someone looking out for you at ALL times?

olpally 32

Canada has friendly people... But still, that would creep me out just hearing that comment... :/

TheDrifter 23

Man I hope that "homeless" guy wasn't me on a bender, it sounds like something my drunk brain would come up with as a reassurrance.

olpally 32

I agree, however, I was just on vacation for 9 days and i was drunk every single day... Lol. :D

Rule #9 - Never go anywhere without a knife.

If those rules are for "How to fail at life" then that sounds about right.

Sorry but partly your doing. Why would you let him grab your hand I would have ran.

pupsi 3

I would punched on his face n kick his nuts hahaha

I'm pretty sure she didn't let him grab her hand... Unless you have ninja reflexes, it's pretty hard to stop someone from grabbing you.

That clears everything up on the rape issue, now you just have to figure out why he's homeless and what that smell is and you can start your new lives together. I love a happy ending.

OP, seriously, call the local police station and tell them exactly what he said and did. They may know of him, and in any case can advise you.

BroadwayGirl16 6

At least you know you're loved...? Maybe? No? I would consider moving...

If it makes you feel better OP, I once dated a man with no income and no established home.... now that I think about it ..... RUN OP RUN!