Health: Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my...

By therundown - 20/07/2011 13:38 - United States

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 621

You deserved it 3 982

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Same thing different taste

By 918boyz - 04/02/2009 22:23 - United States

Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 836

You deserved it 2 623

By alex - 14/03/2011 14:44 - United States

Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 793

You deserved it 10 074

By Username - 08/07/2011 20:02 - United States

Today, I noticed a woman struggling to work a parking meter, so I went over to help. She took one look at me before screaming, hitting me in the face, and running back to her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 204

You deserved it 3 611

By dmvsucks - 13/09/2010 15:14 - United States

Today, I was at the DMV getting temporary tags for my new car. While waiting in line, a huge fat lady behind me felt the need to run her finger down the scar on the back of my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 626

You deserved it 3 090

By Marc - 06/02/2012 21:43 - United States

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 941

You deserved it 2 189

Opportunist

By Tmo - 12/08/2023 08:00

Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 243

You deserved it 121

By keep_your_eyes_on_the_sidewalk - 25/06/2018 15:00

Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 167

You deserved it 228

Pranks for all ages

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 997

You deserved it 1 806

By whaaaaat111 - 09/03/2013 12:04 - United States - Vienna

Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 712

You deserved it 2 765

Don't bother

By NoticeTheLackOfNumbers - 12/08/2009 22:43 - United States

Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 755

You deserved it 3 256

RetardedChipmunk 7

Wednesday 20 July 2011 18:53

That's a weird fetish...

hellokat1 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 18:54

Did she eat it afterwards?

Comments

perdix 29

Wednesday 20 July 2011 20:07

I'd cry too if I were denied my opportunity to harvest some free human jerky.

MermaidSongXOXO 6

Wednesday 20 July 2011 21:20

Nom nom nom. You know, if you ask nicely...

beachchick22 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 20:22

thats nasty and extremly creppy fyl

benniful 0

Thursday 21 July 2011 9:46

creepy+crappy=creppy ?

tateh22 1

Wednesday 20 July 2011 20:25

well maybe you shouldnt be such an asshole.. jk that's hella weird.

LecheeBubble 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 20:28

This reminds me of the Goldmember in Austin Powers.

sexijlow 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 20:33

bullcrap

Cupcake_Grenade 4

Wednesday 20 July 2011 20:44

thats so gross, you totally DIDNT deserve it, but she deserves to be in an old peoples home or something cuz she really just isnt right

Sunny_Eclipse 6

Friday 22 July 2011 22:02

Old peoples' homes are not for crazy people. Silly goose!

MrHartmann_fml 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 20:49

wait what? that's abit creepy dont you think?

b_rowe55 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 20:52

uhmm..... wtf

bettyc4 26

Wednesday 20 July 2011 20:53

I JUST WANTED TO TASTE IT LIKE GOLDMEMBER!!!!!!!!

rawrr61 4

Wednesday 20 July 2011 20:54

wtf?

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 3 777

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 093

You deserved it 13 428

The Top

Today, it's the day after my birthday. My boyfriend got me nothing. Nor did he do anything for me for Valentine's Day. Whereas I got him an $85 game for his birthday, planned a surprise visit to his family so he could see them and his pets, and spent all day Valentine's Day making the house spotless, as well as cakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 265

Today, I got a new title at work. My boss hyped it up and made it sound amazing, so I accepted. Come to find out it pays 20k less a year and is twice as much work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 565

You deserved it 1 739

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 245

You deserved it 45 086

Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 627

You deserved it 8 389

Today, I did a "dine and dash" and left my phone in the restaurant. The owner answered my phone call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 118

You deserved it 82 655

Today, a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get wet, and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly came home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 615

You deserved it 6 291

Same thing different taste

Opportunist

Pranks for all ages

Don't bother

Top comments

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