Kids: Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind...

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 767

You deserved it 3 435

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Same thing different taste

Oh shit…

By half-dead in CA - 31/05/2014 16:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 332

You deserved it 4 014

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 569

You deserved it 41 812

Stealth dog

By Anonymous - 02/06/2020 02:00

Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 240

Stealth bomber

By Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 136

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 048

You deserved it 3 420

By kykynevs - 23/08/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 189

You deserved it 2 866

Barf

By sickatwokr - 30/06/2015 20:26 - Australia

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 951

You deserved it 1 872

By Ammile - 25/12/2018 04:00

Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 909

You deserved it 197

By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 17:14 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 580

You deserved it 4 362

Own it!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 440

cats400 16

Saturday 5 April 2014 15:32

What is with all the foul smelling senior citizens?

CynePhoba 23

Saturday 5 April 2014 15:34

Makes you wonder if he passed more than wind if it smelt that bad.

Comments

CattiniThePanini 14

Saturday 5 April 2014 15:43

wonder what that kid had been eating...

YellowKettleBell 31

Saturday 5 April 2014 17:41

Does it really matter?

8born8 18

Monday 7 April 2014 1:58

Carrots. There's always carrots.

INDYSTRUCTABLE 43

Saturday 5 April 2014 16:08

the magic of fiber. ugh !

reaxion 25

Monday 7 April 2014 4:13

Probably Metamucil. That stuff makes old people fart worse than dogs!

buckdharma 37

Saturday 5 April 2014 16:10

A smell you have never experienced = Taco Bell is now serving breakfast.

strive 12

Saturday 5 April 2014 16:23

The kid's diet is not the one I'm concerned with...

xtna 9

Saturday 5 April 2014 16:29

Old man stink. The most powerful of all stink.

BootheGhost 6

Monday 7 April 2014 8:04

You haven't smelled Axe overusage then...

sistagal 8

Saturday 5 April 2014 16:39

Hilarious. Sorry OP

Rainhawk94 27

Saturday 5 April 2014 17:06

Hilarious, until it happens to you right

KiaKarma 11

Saturday 5 April 2014 17:02

That blows!

CurlyQute 17

Saturday 5 April 2014 17:19

Umm from my experience that most likely wasn't just "passing wind"

plunkit 6

Saturday 5 April 2014 17:22

Kids. they throw up so fast these days.

chrisstachon 30

Saturday 5 April 2014 17:50

I feel bad fore the person having to clean it up

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The Top

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Today, I finally went on a date with a guy who’s been begging to take me out for weeks. I’m terrified of dating but, after consulting with my friends, I decided to give it a shot as he seemed nice. He told me during the date that he has a girlfriend, but he just fantasizes about hooking up with me. FML

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The Top

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 155

You deserved it 4 810

Today, I was doing an online live exam with the camera on when the power suddenly went out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 70

Today, a neighbor's kid decided to pick a fight with me because I'm "the new kid in town and need to learn who's in charge". When I told him I'm 27, he said excuses like that aren't going to get me off the hook. I just moved here and I'm already being harassed by a twelve year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 354

You deserved it 4 623

Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 276

Today, I came to school late because I had to drop off my daughter at school. When I got on campus, the security told me I was late but I said, "Oh no, I work here." and he said, "Oh like I haven't heard that one before." And he took me to detention. My boss, the Principal, had to bail me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 535

You deserved it 3 265

Today, after surgery on Monday, I can’t do much because of where my scars are until they heal. My husband won’t clean the house at all, dishes are all over my kitchen bar, laundry is all piled up by the washing machine. When I asked for help, he said it’s not his job. FML

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You deserved it 581