Kids: Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind...

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 767

You deserved it 3 435

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Same thing different taste

Oh shit…

By half-dead in CA - 31/05/2014 16:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 332

You deserved it 4 014

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 569

You deserved it 41 812

Stealth dog

By Anonymous - 02/06/2020 02:00

Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 240

Stealth bomber

By Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 136

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 048

You deserved it 3 420

By kykynevs - 23/08/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 189

You deserved it 2 866

Barf

By sickatwokr - 30/06/2015 20:26 - Australia

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 951

You deserved it 1 872

By Ammile - 25/12/2018 04:00

Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 909

You deserved it 197

By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 17:14 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 580

You deserved it 4 362

Own it!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 440

cats400 16

Saturday 5 April 2014 15:32

What is with all the foul smelling senior citizens?

CynePhoba 23

Saturday 5 April 2014 15:34

Makes you wonder if he passed more than wind if it smelt that bad.

Comments

pratikp03 22

Saturday 5 April 2014 23:52

1..2..3 oops..

Witchylady 17

Sunday 6 April 2014 1:55

Gross. You poor thing stuck in the middle and nowhere to run.

Maddie_Hatter 10

Sunday 6 April 2014 4:53

Orange vomit is the worst kind of vomit.

Sirmrcrowley 12

Sunday 6 April 2014 5:17

Did you then proceed to order orange fudge???

droln4maltesers 8

Sunday 6 April 2014 6:49

WTH did grandpa eat?!!!!! FYL

AndreaJanell 15

Sunday 6 April 2014 7:32

I always seem to be reading FMLs when I'm eating.

viva_la_blondes 15

Sunday 6 April 2014 16:38

"It was a smelly smell, that smelled....... Smelly. "

TheAlwaysFML 4

Sunday 6 April 2014 19:33

Lol that sucksss!!

SimplyEcks 15

Monday 7 April 2014 1:55

It does suck ass but it was more like an ass that blew..

Naphtayli 4

Sunday 6 April 2014 19:38

That is just so unfortunate >_

Cristina41 8

Sunday 6 April 2014 20:24

I'm pretty sure the kid had eaten sacks of carrots that day, there is now way that could have been a little snack.. worst experience of my life so far.