Work: Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe... - FML

By TwistedCherub1 - 01/02/2014 22:42 - United States

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 282

You deserved it 4 387

TwistedCherub1 tells us more.

TwistedCherub1 15

Monday 3 February 2014 16:14

To answer a few questions: 1. I did make it to the bathroom. 2. Cameras are everywhere in a prison, see from all angles, and have incredible resolution. 3. From my post I have to go through a door which requires pushing a button, identifying myself to master control and waiting for them to release the lock. Then two crash gates where the operator can see me through the glass, then two more doors like the first. That's if I'm in the D-space and not the day room doing rounds, which would involve two more doors. No two doors in any corridor can be open at the same time, so I have to wait for each to close before the next can open.

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Top comments

SimplyBird 9

Sunday 2 February 2014 4:31

That was very...descriptive...

gunda95 11

Sunday 2 February 2014 4:32

Soooo, how many drugs did you smuggle out?

Comments

katydid91 31

Sunday 2 February 2014 5:08

Ooh, You got both my empathy and my sympathy. A prison is one of many worst case scenarios to get diarrhea. FYL OP!!

TXFernwoods 26

Sunday 2 February 2014 5:09

Did you make it? :o

beaverteaser 16

Sunday 2 February 2014 5:11

good thing you didn't have to bend over and squat, like you make the prisoners do, cough!!!

khaoticpanda 28

Sunday 2 February 2014 5:16

I feel insane pity for you. We have all been there dude.

VentiAnemoi 20

Sunday 2 February 2014 5:22

It's a girl. ;)

blackonblight 32

Sunday 2 February 2014 11:32

If you grew up in the 90's 'dude' has a high probability of being a gender neutral term for you, if you were an All That fan chances are the song going through your head right now is "I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, cause we're all dudes!"

VentiAnemoi 20

Sunday 2 February 2014 5:20

Indigestion... Sure...

alphabetta 23

Sunday 2 February 2014 5:31

I guess you could say you had.... A SHITTY SITUATION! ... LET THE DOWNVOTES BEGIN

weveallbeenthere 30

Sunday 2 February 2014 5:42

coworkers like to mess with people. hope you made it.

142_cats 13

Sunday 2 February 2014 5:42

I like how descriptive this was, it was very nice.

CrazyMelvin 14

Sunday 2 February 2014 5:45

Thanks for the visual.

perdix 29

Sunday 2 February 2014 6:00

I'm sure some of the friendly inmates could help prevent things from coming OUT of your butt.

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