Miscellaneous: Today, while on my first ever date, I ordered a really hot curry,...

By halfie - 26/09/2015 05:06 - United States - Pigeon Forge

Today, while on my first ever date, I ordered a really hot curry, hoping to impress my date. "Yeah," I said smoothly, "not everyone can handle spicy food." When I took a bite, my eyes watered, my mouth burned, and I had to plead for water in between moaning like a dying baboon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 517

You deserved it 33 477

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Same thing different taste

Impressive, dude

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 15:00

Today, I was on a first date at high-end Indian restaurant. I tried to impress my date by ordering the spiciest dish on the menu, only to find out it was way too hot for me to handle. I ruined the entire meal by coughing, choking, and drinking five gallons of water with tears streaming down my face for at least 40 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 1 967

I'm on fire

By Jyocka - 26/04/2011 22:25 - Canada

Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 291

You deserved it 27 124

By my bravado's gonna kill me one day - 10/08/2018 13:00

Today, as a big fan of spicy food and a huge challenge seeker, I decided to try the hottest burger I could order. Despite being warned by a waitress, I went for it. After eating a third, I had trouble breathing from the spiciness. The waitress was smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 270

You deserved it 3 888

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 462

Scoville

By Anonymous - 15/06/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend made dinner. He warned me that it was spicy, but I laughed at him and said that white guys don't know spicy. Five minutes later, I had to beg for milk, with my eyes streaming and nose pouring. Turns out I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 714

NEXT!

By Kristie - 03/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 169

Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 146

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 23:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 120

You deserved it 6 355

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 245

You deserved it 45 086

Toxic waste

By Anonymous - 02/09/2022 06:00 - Europe

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at a lake. I felt my stomach rumble and knew I couldn’t make it to shore, so I dropped into the water and had violently diarrhea in the water. It started to bubble, and so I started splashing around, saying, “It’s cold” while she swam around me, in my shit water. I’ve never told her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 441

BeastyMcbeast 19

Sunday 27 September 2015 6:05

I didn't know being able to eat spicy food was something that can be considered impresive.

MonkeeArtz 11

Sunday 27 September 2015 6:05

YDI. Don't bite off more than you can chew just to impress someone.

Comments

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Sunday 27 September 2015 16:25

"Hoping to impress my date" *instant you deserved it*

neuronerd 28

Sunday 27 September 2015 17:28

An ex of mine did that on our first date. I warned him that the curry at this particular Thai restaurant was very hot, but he thought he'd impress me with eating it. I should have used that as a warning sign, because by the end of the relationship I'd tell myself "drink until he's tolerable" (unfortunately, he blinded me with science. I wanted to go out with someone also studying neuroscience). Anyway, I hope that's the only thing you have in common with him, otherwise you may need a personality overhaul.

Paws_Cat 29

Sunday 27 September 2015 21:54

No shit OP was a guy, they have their gender displayed at the top of the post!

thatsme293 28

Monday 28 September 2015 1:39

Impress to fail my friend. The best impressions are honest ones out of your own character.

brenton490 19

Monday 28 September 2015 3:29

If you're posting a fml I'm guessing you read them as well. You haven't learned that trying to impress always seems to backfire?

shredder257 9

Monday 28 September 2015 3:30

When you eat spicy food at first you feel like a dragon with fire breath then when it comes out the other end you feel like a rocket at liftoff

kylerzz 15

Monday 28 September 2015 5:34

lying to impress someone is not a good way to build a relationship of any kind

kesht1996 12

Monday 28 September 2015 8:10

To quote Sean and Gus from Psych "I can't see out of my left eye" "I see dead people" "Even the waters spicy"

itooamscrewed 10

Monday 28 September 2015 19:08

I've never understood why some guys think overdoing something is impressive. Oh you ordered the hottest curry? You can drink seven beers in an hour? You can drink twelve monsters a day "without feeling it"? Please take my pants off immediately. Not.

mrBearBear 11

Monday 28 September 2015 20:11

1st Rule of Dating: don't be fake in order to try and impress them. Even if it does work and you pull it off you'll either have to admit you're a liar or go through the whole relationship pretending to be someone you're not.