Nearly the same thing has happened to me three times in the last few years (2 work-related accidents and a kidney stone). The last time, I finally asked them when they gave me the dilautin if I could get a stool softener or laxative to go with that. They thought that might be a good idea and I'm appalled that it never seemed to have occurred to them before. It just confirms the ER rule of thumb that one doc told me: dilautin 3x, then kick 'em to the curb.

this happened to me too!

All opiate based medications cause constipation, usually in 2 ways. One, The opiate causes water to be leeched out of your intestines, essentially dehydrating your poo. A simple solution is to buy and use an enema bag. Using warm water is a little more helpful. The goal is to rehydrate your poo enough to become pliable enough for your colon to move. Two, while you are under the influence of the drug the smooth muscle of your intestines becomes toned. If you take enough opiates the muscle itself will go into spasms which will cause you to become constipated. Anyway, most of it can be avoided by drinking a lot of water, to replace the water leeched by the colon.

now this is just fml just don't take to many laxes or the other things might come out lol

Poor guy. Go to the doctor. Or just go talk to your pharmacist, I'm sure he or she can give you some advice. I work as a pharmacy technician, and every patient we fill for who takes pain meds (especially narcotics) usually have a stand prescription for colace (Dulcolax) as well. But I'm sure any pharmacist will tell you if it doesn't clear up on its own you should see the doctor again. I hope you feel better! ...and whatever happened to put you on the morphine in the first place, I hope that's better too! Oh, and Gough, I'm sure you did take "Dilaudid", but "Dilautin" doesn't exist. Lol.

But after your asshole shatters and splits like a marble hitting a windshield.... it's gonna feel so good!

Oh wow, that must of REALLY hurt!!! Ouch! Although, it is very funny. :D

better not push too hard... you don't want haemorrhoids

That would be one of the 'glamorous' sides to morphine that they neglect to tell everyone about on House MD.

I favorited this one just fornthe hilarious way it was written. I was constipated for years (I'm talking about once a week, truck sized, dry as a desert turds) and they hurt. heck I had a mini seizure on the crapper one time! but if you want to get it going like Victoria falls: an mre, coffee, and cigarette. and water. lots of water. try those and just try to stop ********!