Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee and Health: Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty...

By Rob - 16/10/2009 01:59 - France

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said, "Have fun!" FML

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The rhythm of the fight
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Hot lava

By bubba7901 - 19/03/2021 10:59

Today, I stopped taking prescription narcotics for pain, which make you constipated. I also enjoyed a few beers. Because of this collaboration, I had a very painful first turd followed by a flow of burning liquid. I cried. FML

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Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

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By Anonymous - 08/12/2010 02:38 - United States

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

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You need more fiber

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 04:29 - United States - Bentonville

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

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You deserved it 2 891

By screaming monkey - 04/04/2012 10:13 - United Kingdom - Whitton

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

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Bunged up

By Anonymous - 17/03/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML

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My idea of fun

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting "goo", which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

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You deserved it 3 904

By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 15:42 - Belgium

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

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You deserved it 2 901

Ouch or ouch?

By chronic - 12/03/2017 02:00

Today, I'm on opioids due to severe pelvic pain. Taking them makes me constipated and increases my pain, which leads to taking more painkillers. I can choose to be in agony and the possibility of pooping, or be in slightly less pain and completely bunged up. FML

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You deserved it 485

Witchcraft_fml 4

Friday 16 October 2009 9:36

Makes me wonder what morphine-addicts have up their bum. Though I'm trying not to think of it.

FerrariCake 2

Friday 16 October 2009 10:19

If my doctor suggested I could have fun with gloves and laxatives, I would find a different doctor.

Comments

bored690 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 6:05

um... what are the gloves for??? they don't immediately give people who are constipated surgery, the size of a bus is a bit of an overreaction

boomboom22 0

Monday 29 March 2010 15:52

What, you've never seen Trainspotting?

aidenkush 0

Sunday 11 April 2010 8:01

lmao

esfox83 17

Friday 23 July 2010 2:43

this has to be one of the funniest post's i have read on this site

sbu_002 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 11:11

hahaha the size of a bus... not laughing at you tho!!! that sounds terrible!! im sorry D:

aerosenna 0

Wednesday 13 October 2010 3:08

doctor owned ahaha

IWABO2_ 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 4:01

Why did you take morphine?

DaTrollKing 3

Wednesday 22 August 2012 22:26

When life hands you laxatives and gloves...

random_stuff 15

Sunday 28 July 2013 8:44

What a pain in the ass, eh? ;)

Krissey_DJ 16

Wednesday 30 April 2014 21:30

For me, Morphine causes extreme nausea and migraines :/ Same with any other strong pain reliever

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The Top

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The Top

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You deserved it 3 109

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You deserved it 34 005

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Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

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Today, my best friend stopped by my house, borrowed a movie, and left. That was the extent of our communication for the day. Today is my birthday. FML

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You deserved it 2 522