Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee and Health: Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty...

By Rob - 16/10/2009 01:59 - France

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said, "Have fun!" FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

Hot lava

By bubba7901 - 19/03/2021 10:59

Today, I stopped taking prescription narcotics for pain, which make you constipated. I also enjoyed a few beers. Because of this collaboration, I had a very painful first turd followed by a flow of burning liquid. I cried. FML

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Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

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By Anonymous - 08/12/2010 02:38 - United States

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

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You need more fiber

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 04:29 - United States - Bentonville

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

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You deserved it 2 891

By screaming monkey - 04/04/2012 10:13 - United Kingdom - Whitton

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

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Bunged up

By Anonymous - 17/03/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML

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My idea of fun

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting "goo", which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 15:42 - Belgium

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

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Ouch or ouch?

By chronic - 12/03/2017 02:00

Today, I'm on opioids due to severe pelvic pain. Taking them makes me constipated and increases my pain, which leads to taking more painkillers. I can choose to be in agony and the possibility of pooping, or be in slightly less pain and completely bunged up. FML

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You deserved it 485

Witchcraft_fml 4

Friday 16 October 2009 9:36

Makes me wonder what morphine-addicts have up their bum. Though I'm trying not to think of it.

FerrariCake 2

Friday 16 October 2009 10:19

If my doctor suggested I could have fun with gloves and laxatives, I would find a different doctor.

Comments

computerpete 3

Friday 16 October 2009 15:31

I believe the part about the laxitive, but not about the rubber glove. if you have a solid intestinal obstruction the doctor would never expect you to reach in and remove it. You could damage your intestinal wall. After all, you can't even see what you're doing.

jchansfan 0

Friday 16 October 2009 17:27

So did you have fun?

Emilyinroom483 7

Friday 16 October 2009 18:05

Literally? -__-

perdix 29

Friday 16 October 2009 18:06

Kinda like jalapenos.

MLSxxox 3

Friday 16 October 2009 19:14

haha lol xxox

justmyluck1212 0

Friday 16 October 2009 20:11

Uughhh man, I took a CNA class

nephelle 0

Friday 16 October 2009 20:14

It's not fake, all serious type pain meds cause constipation. They should have told you that or been with the warnings info with the meds. And yes, laxatives are what's prescribed. Good luck with that.

notnilc 0

Friday 16 October 2009 20:45

Did anybody consider that these laxatives were of the suppository variety? Hence the gloves....

drumhellermd 0

Friday 16 October 2009 21:19

LMFAO about the "massive rock hard size of a bus" line!!!! HAAAHHAAAH!!! woooooo that's hysterical!!!

satanstoystore 0

Friday 16 October 2009 22:55

happened to me on vicodin. i just drank a ton of warm water and told my body where it should go. works every time. i taught my kids that. our family doesnt have constipation issues.