Intimacy: Today, while showing my art work at a festival, a very old cougar... - FML

By deathbysnoosnoo - 24/11/2009 21:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, while showing my art work at a festival, a very old cougar walked up to me and asked if I wanted to hook up later. After refusing more than one time, the woman walked away with my business card. I've been getting emails with naked pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 923

You deserved it 5 596

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Same thing different taste

Helmut Newton strikes back

By badizzle - 15/09/2019 22:00

Today, my art teacher fawned over my friend's photographs of random children and people making out, while she called my picture of an old man looking thoughtful on a pier "creepy" and "voyeuristic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 137

Entrapment

By Anonymous - 04/11/2017 05:00

Spicy

Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 923

You deserved it 2 791

By Farva - 24/01/2009 23:52 - United States

Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 128

You deserved it 42 619

News to me

By Redhottt6 - 05/08/2016 01:24

Spicy

Today, I received a friend request from a boyfriend I hadn't talked to in 20+ years. A few minutes later, he messaged me a picture of himself with a young woman at a strip club. My daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 975

You deserved it 1 645

Simp

By Anonymous - 31/08/2023 10:00

Spicy

Today, an old flame reached out with some truly filthy intent. After burning with righteous indignation, I ended up sending back some embarrassingly submissive pictures. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 601

By Anonymous - 25/07/2011 17:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 568

You deserved it 5 777

Cool prank bro

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 11:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

By Anonymous - 13/07/2009 13:09 - Canada

Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 763

You deserved it 4 160

By spinner - 01/09/2009 11:44 - United States

Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 730

You deserved it 5 461

By Chanman1924 - 24/12/2012 21:06 - United States

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 565

You deserved it 3 769

Next

Top comments

third_planet 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 2:15

Where's the FML?

bobsanction 18

Wednesday 25 November 2009 2:09

Pics or gtfo.

Comments

codycook1 0

Tuesday 20 July 2010 20:38

is she hot?

lili555_fml 0

Sunday 22 August 2010 12:47

den block her

kuraisora 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 5:36

Turn her pictures into "art" and get paid for your bleeding eyes. and... I love your name!

CurtisDkidd 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 18:59

I don't see why your life is f'd. you should have ended it FThatCougar;)

MIgirl88 0

Monday 12 September 2011 7:20

Hit it and quit it lol. Solves everything!

kingsley_fml 8

Thursday 22 December 2011 0:12

Wow, I had no idea cougars could talk!

Dcm210 19

Sunday 29 January 2012 1:33

are you gay?

mike307 11

Thursday 27 December 2012 21:46

The older the berry the sweeter the juice!

polobeastjkc 5

Monday 6 May 2013 5:02

Is she a hot cougar

miniDJ 7

Monday 10 June 2013 6:01

What's so bad about that

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Awkward Management Work Poopoo peepee Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 370

You deserved it 29 702

Today, I took my girlfriend out to Outback Steakhouse. We went to one outside of town because my wife works at our local one. When we got there, guess who we saw? I forgot she transferred to another location, which just happened to be this one. Goddamit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 1 715

The Top

Today, my little sister, who's still in high school, proved beyond a doubt she's better at my computer repair job than I am. She proved it in front of my customers and my manager, who brushed me aside and offered her a job as soon as she graduates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 758

You deserved it 1 090

Today, after over a year of lifestyle changes and a ritualistic exercise regime, I finally reached my goal weight. I excitedly told my boyfriend, and he responded, "Yeah, that's nice, but now your tits are tiny". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 454

You deserved it 7 509

Today, I accidentally bought chicken fingers. I couldn't even make it two days as a vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 958

Today, I found out that my husband of five years was living a double life. He and his mistress have two children together and a third one on the way. He told me the only reason he stayed with me was for my money. I make about 8 dollars an hour and work two jobs to make ends meet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 122

You deserved it 2 914

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 203

You deserved it 2 812

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 975

You deserved it 7 285