Cars, Awkward, Wanker and Intimacy: Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year-old in...

FML for mobile
Free

By whatnot - 04/08/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year-old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 640

You deserved it 3 270

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Pish yerself

By Carnage23 - 05/06/2016 12:38 - Germany - Herborn

Today, I was on a long road trip with my son. He had to pee, and told him he had to wait till I could stop the car. He started counting backwards from 10. I couldn't stop in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 031

You deserved it 2 237

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 17:07 - South Africa

Today, I got a ride in a friend's car. As I sat down, her younger brother started laughing hysterically from the backseat. In between giggles, he admitted he peed there a few minutes ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 672

You deserved it 2 823

By Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 770

You deserved it 14 098

By thoughtidseenitall - 02/02/2013 01:01 - United States - Englewood

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 483

You deserved it 4 031

Not now

By Wife - 08/08/2011 00:02 - United States

Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 480

You deserved it 6 657

What he is thinking?

By fishyrael - 12/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 852

You deserved it 304

By mrteacher - 21/08/2009 22:15 - United States

Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 231

You deserved it 47 294

Little twit

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 03:38 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 746

You deserved it 7 133

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 20:51 - United States

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 121

You deserved it 4 042

Don't get involved

By Joe - 13/09/2021 20:00

Today, some kid on the bus kept pissing me off, making fart jokes and singing the Peppa Pig theme song on repeat. Angrily, I confronted him and asked him if he was 7. He retaliated with, "Yeah, 7 inches deep in your MOM!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 984

SirBedevere 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:08

Well son, that's just how some men like to have a good time.

zinoxity 23

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:06

Let's hope your kid doesn't try it out.

Comments

briannac1 0

Friday 5 August 2011 4:48

Umm... They're playing Jack off.. Hopefully he won't say he wants to play!

fml_addict13 3

Friday 5 August 2011 8:08

LMFAO! That, OP, is hilarious. FYL.

skyorpia101 4

Friday 5 August 2011 8:20

Well mam congratulations, ur child has just witnessed gay ****

MrDbagManSir 3

Friday 5 August 2011 9:23

Damn it he saw me!

MrDbagManSir 3

Friday 5 August 2011 9:25

Just... shut up

NickAdenhart34 3

Friday 5 August 2011 9:37

The guy said., you wanna jam my traffic

Stylin_Since_97 10

Friday 5 August 2011 11:06

You must always have both hands on the steering wheel!!!! But the man obviously doesn't know that

pandaabear 2

Friday 5 August 2011 14:59

i obviously need to pay more attention to other cars when im on the highway

blackxxjesusxx 0

Friday 5 August 2011 22:37

Lol I read this and I screamed laughing my ass off

FailureFYL 0

Saturday 6 August 2011 5:38

Were they having sex?

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Weddings Embarrassing Love Health Technology Mental health Work AITA Break-ups Kids Cats Animals Cute Money Transportation Cars Clothes Capitalism Job interview Heatwave Miscellaneous Insects Summer Virginity Weird Parenting Family Thief Food Scary

The Top

Today, I went to a party at a friend's place. I walked in and noticed everyone sitting quietly in a circle. I sat down, waited for the conversation to pick up, which is when I realized it was a "silent party", as in everyone had headphones on and was listening to music. I awkwardly left after 10 minutes of pretending I was having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 109

Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 1 174

The Top

Today, my first day of going to the gym, some gym bro dropped his weights, which you’re not supposed to do, right on the top of my foot. I have complex crush fractures in most of my foot bones, I’m going to need surgeries, probably metal pins, and I can’t put weight on it for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 135

Today, as always, my mom loudly asked me if I'd brushed my teeth, then replied to my yes with, “I don’t believe you.” All because I forgot to brush my teeth once when I was 5. I’m 17 now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 72

Today, during a deep conversation with my girlfriend of 6 months, I asked her if the guy she had cheated on me once with a few months back had a bigger “tool” than me. She said yes. So I asked, "How much bigger are we talking about?" Her response was "Probably like twice the size." FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 3 210

Today, my boyfriend went through my phone while I was in the bathroom, to check if I was cheating. I'm not. He was looking for some leverage for when he told me he's been fucking my best friend for the last year, he could use something against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 450

You deserved it 262

Today, I discovered my step mom had thrown out my baby blanket because it was an "eyesore". It was an heirloom from my birth mother and the only thing I have left from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 654

You deserved it 2 476

Today, my mom informed me she got married two weeks ago. Hard to congratulate her when this is her eighth husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 621

You deserved it 1 473