Intimacy: Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought...

By koanroak - 22/06/2015 03:08 - United States - Carrollton

Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought I heard the sound of crying coming from the kitchen. I rushed in, thinking something terrible had happened. Nope, the bus boy was just watching porn on his phone with no headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 730

You deserved it 2 372

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/04/2017 00:00

Today, working midnight at a coffee shop, I had a customer set down his phone on the counter to pay. Screen up. Still playing his, "Ebony Rimjob" porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 352

You deserved it 401

By Anonymous - 08/06/2019 00:24 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 579

You deserved it 415

Class dismissed

By Anonymous - 27/05/2021 08:01

Today, I was watching porn with no headphones, because my roommate had left for work. He didn’t fill me in that his girlfriend was, one, even over at our place, and two was using the room next to me to teach her third grade class. Yeah. I’m going to get headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 1 164

By wowthatwould - 04/12/2011 21:39 - United States

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 408

You deserved it 46 711

By danesy - 10/03/2009 02:04 - United States

Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 252

You deserved it 3 790

Talk to me baby

By fizzie101 - 18/10/2014 21:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 505

You deserved it 4 697

Wanker

By fired - 09/08/2013 22:17

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 252

You deserved it 7 486

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 2 037

By Anonymous - 21/10/2013 19:07 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 856

You deserved it 4 486

By Anonymous - 12/09/2014 13:17 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 560

You deserved it 7 485

hayleybee44 12

Monday 22 June 2015 18:09

I hope he washed his hands afterwards...

runninggirl8 16

Monday 22 June 2015 18:08

at least nothing terrible happened

Comments

khorstmye 15

Monday 22 June 2015 21:02

Well now we know what the secret sauce is...

tormcn 26

Monday 22 June 2015 21:18

That's disturbing.

C001Gir1 17

Monday 22 June 2015 21:43

No, that's masturbing ;-)

tormcn 26

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:55

Touché!

worldclassrager 39

Monday 22 June 2015 22:05

Watching **** on the job? Really? I don't believe that's something that should be allowed...

SookyLala 13

Tuesday 23 June 2015 4:13

its not technically, im pretty sure it falls under the 'sexual harrassment' law

jessmonkey 15

Monday 22 June 2015 23:04

Haha atta boy

BlondePsycho 43

Monday 22 June 2015 23:07

I'm really curious why the **** sounded like crying

MortenM 17

Tuesday 23 June 2015 0:10

You're only visiting the nicest placest on the internet I take it?

mr_dour 16

Saturday 27 June 2015 12:14

snuff, nuff said.

littleking94 14

Tuesday 23 June 2015 2:50

that's hilarious. Bus boy don't give no *****

Miss_Mandi 29

Tuesday 23 June 2015 6:50

Tsk tsk. Some people have no shame.

Jessifer_V 11

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:47

Well, the opportunity arose..among other things.

tomvertigo 17

Tuesday 23 June 2015 12:06

Please tell me he wasn't handling the meat and potatoes...

johnny692 6

Tuesday 23 June 2015 14:42

well now we know where your store gets their milk from.

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 636

You deserved it 1 195

Today, I'm pretty sure my husband of 8 years is sleeping with the skank who's in the fire department with him. Out of nowhere, he started texting her and wouldn’t come home until 12:30 a.m. for a whole week. When I confronted him about it, he flipped out. Sadly, it won’t be the first marriage she’s ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 182

The Top

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 758

You deserved it 5 782

Today, I was at work, photographing a baby boy. I grabbed a bench for him to use to hold himself upright. His mom asked if she should hold him instead, but I told her he'd be fine. Two seconds later, he fell backwards and brought the bench down on top of him. There goes my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 625

You deserved it 32 832

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 506

You deserved it 7 735

Today, I was on Skype with the guy I like. After a while of being on Facebook I forgot I was on webcam to him and started picking my nose. He ended the call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 087

You deserved it 55 939

Today, my fiancé received his divorce papers. Thanks to his procrastinating, his divorce is effective May 29th. We're supposed to get married on May 28th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 388

You deserved it 5 327

Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 208

You deserved it 9 415