Health: Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when...

By awkward drunk - 29/01/2011 12:40 - Canada

Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 215

You deserved it 45 759

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Black out

By Shoeless - 20/01/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 367

You deserved it 35 413

By LoveYouTooMa - 20/06/2010 04:11 - United States

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 926

You deserved it 32 603

By ouch - 12/07/2013 07:22 - United States

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 162

You deserved it 4 761

By Pissy pants - 24/11/2018 13:30

Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 193

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 20:00 - United States

Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 662

You deserved it 102

By Blie - 04/09/2018 20:30

Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 4 193

By HiRveryone - 05/03/2018 19:08 - United States - Centre

Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 986

You deserved it 393

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 122

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 3 710

Pushing the envelope

By Anonymous - 02/04/2022 04:00

Today, I was constipated and strained so hard that I threw up into my pants and all over my shoes. I was at work, and no, I didn’t have a change of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 180

Zebidee 8

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:29

Nothing screams 'I'm drunk' like trying to act sober in front of your parents. You think they've never seen a drunk kid before?

DocBastard 38

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:50

Congratulations on getting caught, idiot. There is no excuse for getting so shit-faced that uncontrolled vomiting ensues, especially in front of your mother. I hope you still live at home so your mother can ground your stupid ass.

Comments

RedPanda900 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:16

I like beads.

bobjoefredsky 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:23

at least you aren't the idiots FML above yours. the girl who was talking about how she had sex? I'm like, yeh. whatever

Zebidee 8

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:29

Nothing screams 'I'm drunk' like trying to act sober in front of your parents. You think they've never seen a drunk kid before?

Quasar55_fml 18

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:31

If you cannot take alcohol, then don't drink that much. YDI

zacharytk72 5

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:33

you like men, but that's okay...I like them too!

DocBastard 38

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:54

I'm sorry, do you have some kind of special power that allows you to detect the anonymous OP's gender and sexual orientation? Or are you making a stupid assumption and an asinine gay joke in one fell swoop? The amount of failure in your three simple words is simply mind-boggling. I'm very impressed that you were able to make yourself look so incredibly foolish in such an astoundingly swift fashion.

aardvarkish 15

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:55

I think 16 has a point, maybe.

DocBastard 38

Saturday 29 January 2011 21:17

I'm glad you're strong enough to admit it.

Hidan_fml 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 22:37

You and the OP should get together. Hahaha :D

DocBastard 38

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:50

Acousticpixie14 6

Saturday 29 January 2011 23:23

Seriously...and if you're going to be stupid enough to go out and drink underage, at least have the common sense to stay at a friend's house until you sober up. Why do drunken idiots always think they can fool someone into thinking they're sober? It's not like it's hard to tell when someone is drunk. YDI, OP. I hope that now your parents are on you like flies on shit.

MissPurple_fml 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 0:43

How do you know OP was drinking underage? In Canada, the legal drinking age is 18, which is still a normal age to be living at home with your parents. Doesn't change that fact that it was stupid to get drunk in the first place, but OP wasn't necessarily underage...

Acousticpixie14 6

Sunday 30 January 2011 6:05

Well if OP wasn't underage, what would be the point of trying to hide it from his parents?

TryptamineDreame 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:59

Lmao someone can't hold their liquor. If your parents don't allow you to drink, then you shouldn't drink, it would be best for you in the long run, especially if you are underage :)