But I want the damn hot pocket now!!

and cut it in half!

Even if you do wait it's still lava and frozen at the same time.

No no no. It's amazing how no one has ever figured this out. Don't heat them up on high heat. Heat them for a longer time on medium heat. They cook much more evenly

#64 is right. Lower the temperature and set the timer for a longer period of time :3

Has anyone tried doing it in a toaster oven? It's quick and usually cooks it all the way through, too!

No you are supposed to wait five minutes then the hot pocket will have an even temperature throughout

Im confused, does no one read the package directions it tells you exactly how to cook it and it turns out cooked all the way through. How hard is that?

"Caliente Pockets." I love Gaffigan. I've probably seen Beyond the Pale 15 times, and it cracks me up every time.

Hooot Pockeeet.

Diarrhea pocket!

That guy was hilarious... "Will it burn my mouth?" "Oh yes, it will destroy your mouth."

"Death Pockets"

"Hot lava pocket"

I read all these in the light voice he normally uses... Hilarious

This thread is exactly what I was looking for when I read this FML.

eat it for breakfast, eat it for lunch, and be dead by dinner.

Just because you do not like something does not mean everyone else will dislike it as well.

taste isn't my issue. it's what it does to you that I have a problem with.

well OP b optimistic u r one of the very few that will experience that in their lifetime.

But even if you had a child up to age 12 could feast upon it, with a high calcium drink!

28- That comment was so fail. If you're going to try to be "edgy," at least make sure your sentence is intelligible. You tried too hard to be funny when you should have been focusing on not writing like a total fucktard.

It's a reference to another FML.

Yap, try to be less of a jerk about it next time #35

at least he didn't make a vine about him sticking his junk in it.

I don't see why this is down voted, its entirely true

It's downvoted because you seem like a pretentious **** for saying someone deserves pain for enjoying some food you happen to not like.

I just see this as funny sarcasm. I'm sad others obviously don't

What, that they heat things up....

They don't head it completely in the designated time

Maybe OP didn't use the microwave sleeve that comes with it. That's supposed to help the heating

Exactly what I was thinking - I can't imagine how else you'd manage to melt the cheese and leave the center frozen if you use the microwave sleeve properly. They probably didn't even unwrap it from the plastic and just threw the whole thing in the microwave for two minutes - yep, that'll melt the cheese, but nope, it's not going to heat evenly or penetrate to the middle.

I think if they had shoved the whole thing they'd have much more than just melted cheese...

Mine are. I don't know how people have so much trouble with them