In this instance, OP didn't understand either.

Makes me wonder what your parents are like...

How is honestly not knowing rude?

Hell if anything the daughter was rude, but she's 3 and doesn't know any better.

Rude yourself, #17

Pardon my ignorance, but what does androgynous mean?

Androgynous in this case means a person whose appearance could fit with either gender

1. OP clearly wasn't intending to 'join the rudefest' 2. Referring to the person as 'a human being' also implies that OP couldn't see if the person was male or female. It wouldn't have been a much better response.

THE RUDEFEST HAHAHA

Though it would be nice if everyone was perfectly up-to-date and fully informed on how to correctly (both politically and morally) explain the difficult and highly specific individualized trials and ordeals that both individuals and groups of people go through and have to deal with, it is incredibly ridiculous and unrealistic to expect everybody, let alone parents, to at all times have to be ready to give a TEDtalk quality speech on individuality, equality, and acceptance, as well as Every Other moral issue. Yes, it would be good, but it is also incredibly difficult, near impossible, to pull off. How can you expect a parent to stand at attention like that with Every Other lesson you have to instill hanging over their head, And their laundry list of shit to do, And their personal life, And their kid's personal life that they have to manage, And..... Do you see why your request, in day to day life, is a bit much?

thanks, but my point was that it shouldn't matter if they were male or female, they have feelings and that should be the first thing to address, not their sex.

it's not too much, that was a perfectly good time to have that talk, how else will they ever know or learn

@102 ...what?

nice save, but i am pretty sure it would be hard to come up with that on the spot.

Easier to come up with that on the spot than 24's

What the hell is wrong with you?

I've debated about reading this super long comment, but unfortunately my attention span prohibits me from doing so.

"Excuse me, would you rather I referred to you as a man, or a woman?" Don't think so.

Jose, there are not a lot of people out there that understand how many gender and gender identities people may or may not fall under. I appreciate your kindness and understanding. He may sound funny, but it's true. All you have to do is ask a transgender which they prefer and most will be very kind with their answer. And if you don't want to offend anyone by accident, leave them alone. I'm sure whoever they are, they're fine with themselves.

thank you for summing up my comment I may have made it much too long haha. but I'm glad to see that someone else sees what I was trying to say. I do apologize for the length of my comment though ×_×

It probably is true, but in this case we don't know if the person is transgender. It might be just as rude to ask them which they prefer to be called if they are a straight man/woman who just has unfortunate looks.

this is fml, we discourage writing novels here

Actually, #33, a lot of people WOULD prefer that question. There's a lot of people who fall under the trans* umbrella whose gender can't just be assumed from appearance. But I wouldn't just ask that of a stranger, because to me that just seems nosey and rude. I'd only ask if I was meeting somebody I would be having more contact with. And #45, true. Which is why I don't think you should be asking people's gender at all. Certainly not strangers, why do you need to know? In the trans* community, the standard question seems to be "what are your pronouns" or "what are your preferred pronouns" to which the person can reply with he or she or some of the more unusual ones some people adopt such as they, ze, sie. Yes, some people (and the term is 'cis' not 'straight' FYI- it means "not trans" or basically that when the doctor assigned you a gender at birth, they got it right) might be offended if they are asked that question but people are also going to get hurt if you just assume or guess their gender and run with it. In my opinion, it's much better to ask, but only if there's a reason why you actually need to know.

#27, I understand what you mean and I don't doubt that there are some people out there that would not mind and would even prefer that someone asked what gender they would like to be identified as. However, I think that it's a bit inappropriate to ask a stranger something like that and you have a very high risk of offending someone. I know people that are cis(not sure if I used that right but I just learned it so I felt like using it) but just naturally look gender neutral and they would be extremely offended if someone asked them a question like that. Unless you are trying to be friends with someone or know you will be in contact with them again, I'd say its safer not to ask

In my opinion, the best way to answer the question would have been, "Honey, I know you are curious, but your question can come off as rude. Asking that sometimes offends people. Let's not ask questions like that in public, you can ask mommy/daddy when we get home." My best friend is innersex (which simply means she gained some masculine and some female parts). She chose to go as female. Her family was terrible about it. The thing that hurt her the most wasn't people who she knew asking, but the strangers who would come up in public to ask. She got asked a lot until she was able to get facial surgery. Now many of those same people (our town is small) have hit on her. You don't have a right to know everyone's medical history and I wish more people would understand that. Being asked if you are "a man or woman" can hurt just as bad. I was always told that the nicest way to ask someone (when you have to know, not just because you are curious) is to ask what they prefer to be called. "Bill" might be their legal name, but if they prefer "Susan" then you call them that. You might think you are doing the nice thing asking, but I am sure a lot of people who look outside the norm get hundreds of those questions. So while Op was trying to help their daughter, it would have been better to just tell her to drop the subject and that she doesn't need to know the gender of every person in the room.