By [...] - 12/12/2013 14:28 - France - Vaulx-en-velin

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML
I agree, your life sucks 441
You deserved it 73

Top comments

The lack of a gender icon just makes this FML better.

Comments

You should have said 'honey don't be rude' and then just walked away

And the young child would totally understand what was rude about the question, and never do anything outside of social conventions that may cause the parent embarrassment again. Yup it really works that easily.

I think your voice would have given you away...

Sitting_Ducki 8

This is when you learn to teach her to ask quietly :)

I get that a lot myself. I tend to joke about it though. My favorite reply is "I'm David Bowie."

Selkhe 10

Maybe they're both or neither? Or transgendered... that could have hurt their feelings, but I guess the kid wouldn't know better. Also, never ever use "it" when referring another human being.

strangeite 4

I understand why some people get upset when their gender isn't understood, whether they're cis or trans, and it's really none of your (or your child's) business anyway, but it's always better to ask than to assume. Also, "they" is a much nicer gender neutral term than "it" =)

SuperMew 22

When to ask a person what their gender is: 1. On medical forms, during anything medical related. Such as if you are their doctor. 2. When you know the person. 3. Anything having to do with work or other important gender related activities. However, if you do not know the person, are not in an important, authoritative position, and it won't change the outcome of a conversation or your interactions, then you don't ask. It is offensive to be asked if you are a man or a woman, CIS or trans, because it makes you wonder if people are mocking you behind your back. It will make trans people feel a lot better to be treated as humans, with normal interactions, just like any other human being wants. Just like someone with cancer does not want to be reminded of it constantly, neither does someone trying to live their life. Op should have told her daughter not to be rude and to drop it.

strangeite 4

You're right, this is not a situation where it would be appropriate to ask. The point I was trying to make was that you should never assume a person's gender, like op was going to do when they attempted to answer their daughter's question, but I did a terrible job of it. Some people don't mind being asked (myself included), but as a general rule, yeah, don't do it