Kids: Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever...

By Failed_Dad - 25/09/2015 05:42 - United States - Davis

Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever seen in her, my 16-year-old daughter told me an egg is a fruit because of its "hard shell and growing seed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 676

You deserved it 2 733

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Same thing different taste

Whole foods

By anonymous - 06/03/2016 05:33 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my 17 year-old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished, she offered me some, but it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 300

You deserved it 3 568

By parentfail - 11/12/2010 14:44 - United Kingdom

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 478

You deserved it 70 761

By James - 30/03/2012 18:44 - United States

Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 209

You deserved it 5 199

By no she wasn't high - 02/12/2013 02:50 - United States - Garland

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 891

You deserved it 5 891

By lawdy - 21/05/2017 20:00

Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 480

You deserved it 639

Top Chef

By Mother of a dumb blonde - 22/06/2017 02:00

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that no, just because the word, "salad" is in the name, it doesn't mean that macaroni or potato salad are automatically healthy for you. She still doesn't believe me. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 875

You deserved it 697

By Anonymous - 03/04/2017 00:00

Today, my husband told my 5-year-old daughter that if I swallowed a watermelon seed, I would get pregnant. Tonight, she dropped one in my mouth while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 309

You deserved it 629

By MakeMyDay_27 - 27/06/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 954

You deserved it 5 638

By ulisha5 - 02/08/2013 21:54 - Bulgaria - Burgas

Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 592

You deserved it 4 363

By I should have kept my mouth shut - 23/01/2013 01:35 - United States - Davis

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 828

You deserved it 4 614

Goblin182 26

Friday 25 September 2015 18:59

If eggs are fruit, can bacon be a green leafy vegetable? Then I can eat healthy.

LadyGagasNipple 19

Friday 25 September 2015 18:43

Well, I guess I can tell the doctor I get plenty of fruit in my diet.

Comments

JKPwnage 27

Saturday 26 September 2015 6:23

Huh. Well she's not entirely wrong.

Witchylady 17

Saturday 26 September 2015 8:33

Today's youth get stupider with each day. And your daughter is right up there with queen of stupid.

Matttis 7

Saturday 26 September 2015 9:24

It's the fruit of a rooster's loins loins.

derangedplanet 23

Saturday 26 September 2015 15:11

@50 not only starches unless fruits and vegetables are now starches and I've been taught wrong my whole life? sugars arw carbs. complex carbs are things like starches. simple carbs are things like sugar.

snickerpuss 9

Saturday 26 September 2015 16:25

No, eggs are chicken period.

jtfrisch 22

Saturday 26 September 2015 19:31

She may be on to something

chriss2015 13

Saturday 26 September 2015 19:45

#50 I assume everyone on this site is sarcastic. After all who comes to FML to ask for advice on carbs? Take everything you read with a grain of salt.