Kids: Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever...

By Failed_Dad - 25/09/2015 05:42 - United States - Davis

Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever seen in her, my 16-year-old daughter told me an egg is a fruit because of its "hard shell and growing seed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 681

You deserved it 2 734

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Same thing different taste

Whole foods

By anonymous - 06/03/2016 05:33 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my 17 year-old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished, she offered me some, but it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 302

You deserved it 3 569

By parentfail - 11/12/2010 14:44 - United Kingdom

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 478

You deserved it 70 765

By James - 30/03/2012 18:44 - United States

Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 210

You deserved it 5 200

By no she wasn't high - 02/12/2013 02:50 - United States - Garland

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 899

You deserved it 5 891

By lawdy - 21/05/2017 20:00

Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 484

You deserved it 643

Top Chef

By Mother of a dumb blonde - 22/06/2017 02:00

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that no, just because the word, "salad" is in the name, it doesn't mean that macaroni or potato salad are automatically healthy for you. She still doesn't believe me. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 877

You deserved it 698

By Anonymous - 03/04/2017 00:00

Today, my husband told my 5-year-old daughter that if I swallowed a watermelon seed, I would get pregnant. Tonight, she dropped one in my mouth while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 312

You deserved it 631

By MakeMyDay_27 - 27/06/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 955

You deserved it 5 639

By ulisha5 - 02/08/2013 21:54 - Bulgaria - Burgas

Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 593

You deserved it 4 366

By I should have kept my mouth shut - 23/01/2013 01:35 - United States - Davis

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 832

You deserved it 4 615

Goblin182 26

Friday 25 September 2015 18:59

If eggs are fruit, can bacon be a green leafy vegetable? Then I can eat healthy.

LadyGagasNipple 19

Friday 25 September 2015 18:43

Well, I guess I can tell the doctor I get plenty of fruit in my diet.

Comments

johncage 14

Monday 28 September 2015 4:47

Considering you raised her, I think it's safe to say you're the one with egg on his face.

kumaneko1337 3

Tuesday 29 September 2015 7:16

Not quite. The fruit is essentially a flowering plant's womb. The seed would be closer to a zygote, a fertilized egg cell. They're similar in function but not the same but a fruit is what the seeds are contained in whereas an egg is an unfertilized egg cell.