Love, Kids, Pranks, Parents LGBTQIA+ Tonight, on Weird Parents… - FML

Tonight, on Weird Parents…

Anonymous - 10/08/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying, "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 27/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glance over and see my brother's hot friend who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then hear my mom say "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML

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Denial

TedX - 19/08/2020 20:07

Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML

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Anonymous - 22/07/2015 20:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML

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All kinds of wrong

Anonymous - 16/06/2020 14:01

Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML

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The truth will set you free

Imnotfromhere - 29/08/2021 23:01

Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML

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Catch 22

Anonymous - 26/03/2021 20:01

Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML

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Lolrus - 28/03/2009 16:50 - Qatar

Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML

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Prank culture

Anonymous - 14/01/2023 00:00

Today, my dad threw my boyfriend into the street naked. We weren’t even having sex, I was fully dressed in the kitchen, and my boyfriend was showering after his rugby game. My dad is also his teammate, and it was all a stupid prank by the team. I hate jocks sometimes. FML

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Anonymous - 21/10/2010 08:21 - United States

Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML

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What the frick?

cuckoo - 22/08/2015 03:59 - United States - Mobile

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

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Defiant47 0

Monday 10 August 2009 16:08

I love doing that to my friends too!

ckin2u 5

Monday 10 August 2009 16:08

Bad timing :(

crank_it 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 21:21

Lmao, I love this one

Zic_fml 7

Friday 14 August 2009 15:07

wahahaha

Foxy_lover 0

Saturday 15 August 2009 4:55

Ahhahahahaha that's hilarious! You're best mate sounds like a funny guy XD

Poisonphaerie 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 22:14

Hahahaa

roosseeee 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 18:30

HAAAAH, that's hillarious.

Kofu 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 7:12

If you can't laugh at the irony in that, I don't know what to say to you.

LocoChaz006 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 17:15

DEFINITELY one of my favourites on here! LMAO!

Brak_Spaceman 19

Monday 31 August 2009 17:58

IS YOU A GAY?

BloodyPoisonKiss 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 17:47

HAahaa!! Aww, man that sux! R u gay, that'd be hot!!

Fentown_fml 4

Sunday 11 October 2009 0:48

omg That's hilarious! I'm afraid you'll be seeing a lot of awkward times ahead ...

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my mom called me in a panic because someone had hacked my phone and was sending her evil faces. They were emojis I'd accidentally butt-dialed. FML

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Today, I found out that my ex let my son eat nothing but cereal and milk for every single meal during his five-day visit. Now my son shrieks, cries, and has a meltdown if I try to make him eat real food. My ex merely replied, "Your problem now." FML

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Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages, she said, "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said, "But it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML

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Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

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Today, for about the tenth time this month, I opened my mouth and was immediately told to, “Shut the fuck up” before I'd actually said anything. FML

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Today, it's our ten-year anniversary, and I thought finally we would break our 10-month dry spell with some action. My husband had dozed off and was snoring even before I could reach the bed after finishing my chores. So much for happily ever after… FML

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